This article from 1938 breaking down the concept of love is relevant even today

"What is love?" is a question that has likely crossed everyone's mind at least once. Is it the idealized emotion described in poems, or can it be reduced to a formula in books like "101 Ways to Find Love"? Navigating love can be a complex journey, often muddied by oversimplifications or exaggerations. Yet, a 1938 article from The Atlantic by Raoul de Roussy de Sales offers a timeless exploration of how society perceives love—insights that remain relevant even today.

The author described how love is often seen as something perfect and flawless. "It is as if the experience of being in love could only be one of two things: a superhuman ecstasy, the way of reaching heaven on earth and in pairs; or a psychopathic condition to be treated by specialists," he wrote. He even suggested that America might be the only country where people think so deeply about love, or believe that a relationship must always bring "perfect happiness." He emphasized that many people resist the idea that love is imperfect, a blend of both pleasant and challenging experiences.

However, "[People are] wired as organisms to bond to a partner, and that’s why love and relationships and matters of the heart are so fundamentally important for all of us," Lisa Marie Bobby, marriage and family therapist and founder of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching told CNBC Make it. So in such a case, it could be helpful to seek advice but it can be quite difficult for people to navigate the quality of advice as per the therapist. This makes it tougher for people to navigate relationships, especially as they chase a perfect relationship. In his article, de Roussy compared love with democracy and stated that both concepts were perfect in theory. Like democracy is supposed to differentiate us from our ancestors who lived in caves while love is supposed to be perfect.

Regardless, the author felt that neither really works in the real world. He expressed how President Roosevelt was trying to make democracy work, others were trying to make love work. He said that the reason behind that was people were trying to organize both of them a little too much. He stated how people were led to believe that love was outright supposed to work and even if it didn't in the first go, people were supposed to fall back in love. The man also explained how each song would even lead an outsider to believe that they have reached a land of "eternal youth and perfect love."

The author commented how people don't want to accept any set advice or feel that things are losing their charm when the idea is simplified. "It is a fantastic idea to try to educate yourself about how healthy relationships work and do some work. Anytime any of us substitute the judgment of other people for our own judgment and experience of reality, we can run into problems," Bobby told CNBC. An advice about love can help if "it’s connected to you and your reality and sensitive to the fact that everybody’s different. Everybody’s coming from a different context, living in a different context, and there’s no cookie for the cutter,” Bobby explained.

“What does become a problem is when people are listening to these messages about what relationships should be, or what people should be doing or should not be doing, that are very black and white, that is said with a lot of confidence, from people who often aren’t coming from this evidence-based approach," she noted.