Zoë was so annoyed by a boy named Noah that she took the time to write a detailed note telling him to stop bothering her.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on July 27, 2022. It has since been updated.
When it comes to setting boundaries and understanding consent, we could all learn from Zoë, a fifth-grade girl who spelled it out to a boy at her school. Zoë penned a set of rules for a boy named Noah to follow, including "do not speak to me"—and they are all on point. The note was filled with instructions and even had some illustrations. She titled it, "Rules and Regulations," drawing a line and setting the tone of intent pretty early on. The hilarious note was shared by Twitter user Cydni Jenkins, who goes by @WhosDenverJones. She wrote, "My friend who's a 5th-grade teacher just sent this to me! I'm dead!!!" Zoë's rules rule and everyone should take a page out of her book and draw boundaries in life.
Zoë was annoyed and overwhelmed by Noah's need to engage with her and she decided to set the "rules and regulations" for any interactions. Let's just say Noah would never again dare to tap her on the shoulder. The tweet was appreciated by many as soon as posted and was liked more than 10k times. Zoë might have been furious but she was still effortlessly funny and also drew Noah, a naked stick figure with oven mitts for some reason. "From Zoë 2 Noah" reads the first sentences.
My friend who's a 5th grade teacher just sent this to me! I'm dead!!! pic.twitter.com/FSDBxs9Vtq— Cydni Jenkins (@WhosDenverJones) September 15, 2016
Zoë's rules are numbered and to the point. There's no ambiguity or wiggle room for those breaking laws in the court of Zoë. You've either followed the rules, or you've broken them.
1) "Do not touch my shoulder." As simple as it gets. As savage as it gets.
2) "Do not get behind me with all that playing and foolishness." Again, to the point and pretty brutal. No messing around whatsoever. As if that wasn't enough, she reiterated her point again. "Don't get behind me at all."
3) "Do not speak to me unless it's a greeting, which will never be." There's no circumstance under which she needs to be greeted, and I think Noah has got the message.
4) "Stop playing with me on the bus" Noah, just keep walking to the back of the bus.
5) "I have a short temper with people and you ruin my day because you play 2 much."
6) "You like me (as a gf) but I don't like you. I'm 2 young! (as a bf). With the kind of brutal honesty Zoë dishes out, Noah will wish he was at least friend zoned.
7) "Reread 500 times." Zoë has absolutely no chill.
She then explains what happens if any of the rules are broken. "If you break any of these rules, I'm calling my dad, my mom's friend, my fake mom, and a janator (don't mind my spelling) I know!!!" Imagine knowing you've spelled the word wrong but leaving it in because you're going with the flow of it. "If you ruin my day, I'm going to have to go to counseling!!!
Zoë didn't come to play and we can't help but applaud her for drawing clear boundaries. It's also a testament to amazing parenting that kids this young are able to clearly articulate what is okay and what is not. It sets up children to take no sh*t when they grow up but well, Zoë's already there. One thing is for sure, Noah's already got the hint.