Therapist shares one question to 'check' if your relationship is really healthy

Are you currently in a relationship? If so, does it really feel healthy? For those who paused, unsure what to say, Yasmine Mattar (@balancedbyyasmine7 on TikTok), a relationship therapist, swears by this one question that can really help you determine if your relationship is genuinely healthy. 

"If the relationship ended today, would you two still be okay?" Mattar, a mental-health counseling intern, reveals the key question that helps her judge a relationship. While sharing a life with a supportive partner feels magical, we should not trade our individuality for anything else, she explains. "It's totally normal to miss someone after a breakup... but feeling like you can't exist without them is a red flag," Mattar adds. As a therapist, she explains that a healthy relationship is established only when both partners are equally invested yet have two different lives. "There’s a huge difference between healthy attachment and emotional fusion. Healthy love allows you to still have a sense of self," she tells Newsweek.

A survey by Self Financial of over 1,048 Americans found that 23.5% of people are in a relationship because they would suffer financially if they broke up. It means people are continuing with their relationship not because they want to, but because they can't afford to be single. Similarly, another survey of 2,300 U.S. adults by The Matchmaking Company found that some Americans have a really hard time moving on from their exes. In fact, the study found that 47% of respondents are in a relationship longer than they wanted to avoid being single.

More than half (66%) continue talking to a few of their ex-partners, and 43% even stalk them on social media. As Mattar explains, missing someone you were in an intimate relationship with is quite normal; being obsessed with your relationship to such an extent that you stop having a life outside of it is downright toxic.

Meanwhile, reacting to Mattar's insight, @kook_991 commented, "Love is a choice, and need is a necessity; and whoever cannot live without you will suffocate you with their weakness instead of supporting you with their strength." Similarly, @themaiafairchild wrote, "Absolutely, but I’d be sad. But I would still survive and thrive because I’m always my number one priority." However, @mikaelahjaltee, who had a different opinion, wrote, "There is a huge difference in 'being ok' and 'not being able to exist,' though? Why would I choose to spend my life with someone if they didn’t add value to my life? It would be a red flag if you WOULD be ok with losing them? This hyper-independence narrative is killing existing and potential relationships."

You can follow Yasmine Mattar (@balancedbyyasmine7) on TikTok for more relationship-related content. 

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