Therapist reveals the 'parenting mistake' Boomers call 'protection', and how it impacted Millennial kids

Boomer parents have always been close-minded when it comes to expressing their emotions. However, their lack of showcasing vulnerability has made them believe that it was their way of "protecting" their children, when the reality says otherwise. Weighing in on the issue, a millennial therapist, Mary Beth Somich (@yourjourneythrough), took to her TikTok to ask a valid question on December 6, which has received many reactions from online users. Mary Beth Somich has over 10 years of experience as a licensed clinical mental-health counselor, per Newsweek.

34-year-old Mary Beth Somich shared a question she had been pondering for a long time. In her long years of experience as a mental health counselor, she has noticed a strange pattern among parents born between 1946 and 1964, which she "truly doesn't understand." Enacting a phone call conversation between a parent aged 61-79 and their child, she reflects on how these parents "drop" significant health news in the last minute. Embodying one instance of such a call, she says, "Your dad had open-heart surgery today," immediately going on to justify the delay in informing their child about their father's health. This happens because Baby Boomers were raised in a culture of 'independence,' a culture of roughness that depended on them taking care of their own matters — one that looked down upon any call for help. Speaking to Newsweek, the mental-health counselor expressed, "Many boomers grew up believing that love is shown through providing and protecting, not through verbal affirmation or vulnerability."

In the latter half of the video, Somich noted that while these parents continue this practice in the assumption of "protecting" their kids from anxiety, it has only backfired. "I understand protecting your children from information that may not be developmentally appropriate when it comes to illness, family members, or whatever, but these are adult children who can make their own decisions, and when they come to my office, they are like WT*? They are like 'I'm angry, I'm sad and I can't trust my parents to share really important health information about immediate family members with me and I don't understand this.'" Somich shared that this approach can feel more upsetting to Millennial and Gen Z children. According to her, withholding such important information can lead to "feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, and a loss of trust."

A 2019 study by Louise Dalton, DClinPsych, found that parents dealing with a life-threatening diagnosis struggle not only with their own illness but also with how to communicate with their children. As per the study conducted over 60,000 children in Finland, it was found that parents feel unsure about how to talk to their child and how much information to share with them, while also wanting to protect their child from distress. However, children are often aware that something is seriously wrong and want honest information. Hence, withholding information can only tamper with the parent-child relationship further.

Somich's clip was aptly titled, "Respectfully, why?" and many users shared their views on Somich's take. @afdembs27 wrote, "They seem to be downplaying things because they’re so uncomfortable with emotions." @LoriVanderwall shared, "I'm Gen X with older boomer parents, for my parents it was a combination of not wanting to burden us and not wanting to admit they can't do it all on their own anymore." @bark.brooks wrote, "They will give you every health update of the neighbor down the street that you don’t even know but won't tell you when they have cancer. Then they make you feel bad that you didn't know because you don’t come around enough."

More on Scoop Upworthy

Therapist explains what millennial and boomer parents are doing wrong while raising children

Man explains how boomer parents are entirely out of touch with struggles of young workers today

Mom-to-be talks about 11 boomer parenting philosophies she totally agrees with