Boundaries are important in all relationships as they signify what a person is comfortable with and what sort of behavior is unacceptable to them.
Holidays are mostly a great time for everyone. Right from the best foods and the best weather to the opportunity to spend some quality time with friends and family, it is all a chance to make some good memories. However, getting through the holidays can be tiresome for some if their family disrespects boundaries. In a video posted by Jaime - Licensed Therapist (@recollectedself), she highlights eight ways to establish healthy boundaries during the holiday season.
The first boundary she stated was, "We're leaving at 6." This boundary basically showcases that one must value their own time and commitments so that the same can be rightly expected out of others. The second boundary is, "I won't be in the middle, go talk to them." In her caption, Jamie says that one can say, "Please go talk to them directly," to sound more gentle. This boundary can be used when one doesn't wish to be dragged into things that concern other people. The next thing she mentioned was, "Enjoy church! We will join you after." This boundary teaches one that they don't need to abide by religious customs as long as they are respectful towards the choice of other people.
The fourth one was, "Commenting on my food intake is unnecessary." This seems like one of the most important boundaries on this list. In a world that is always trying to impose their opinion on other people over things that absolutely don't concern them, like food habits, this sentence can be a breath of fresh air. The fifth boundary that Jamie mentions is the choice to talk about things at their own pace. The boundary states, "That's all I'm willing to discuss right now." While this can seem rude to some people, this boundary is crucial for people's mental health and well-being.
The sixth boundary she mentioned said, "I need to rest, I'll be upstairs." This shows the need and importance of valuing one's personal health, both physical as well as psychological. The best way to function well is to rest well. The seventh boundary is quite similar to the previous one and it states that, "I need some quiet time. I'll be out on a walk." Putting one's own needs before anyone else's isn't always selfish. The best way to rejuvenate from mental exhaustion is to stay quiet for a while and take a walk. Lastly, the eighth boundary is, "My body is not a topic for discussion." Discussing someone's body is not okay on any level, especially when the person isn't comfortable with it.
The comment section was full of people agreeing with Jamie and giving their two cents as well. @sangre_ said, "I got accused of anorexia in Spain at a cafe and bombarded one morning." @a.j.oct005 spoke about a major lifestyle change she and her family did and said, "Our boundaries as a family... My husband, myself and five kids only spend the holidays with people who love and care about us. No longer hanging with toxic family members. Most of our family on all sides have been cut out. Best for us and our mental health." All things said and done, holidays are a means to enjoy and have fun. Don't let someone's lack of understanding of boundaries ruin your holiday spirit!