Therapist explains why woman's boyfriend moving out to live with his brother is 'secure and mature'

The world has an endless supply of advice and standards to follow on the idea of an ideal relationship. Many people have normalized so many elements of a relationship that if you’re not living up to them, you’re immediately assumed to be in a toxic relationship. Having a gorgeous ring to flaunt, opening the door for your girlfriend, not being too clingy, the list goes on. There’s barely room to try anything new due to people’s views and opinions. However, @misssmaiah dared to announce that she and her boyfriend were going to try something different and despite the internet's skepticism, a therapist believes they could make it work. 

Maiah Police (who goes by @misssmaiah on social media) raised thousands of eyebrows when she posted a video explaining that her boyfriend—who had been living with her for a year and a half—would be moving out despite them having no plans to break up. She further mentioned that he would be moving out to live with his younger brother and that it was something he always wanted to do.

She also clarified that they were not calling quits on their relationship; he was only moving. Maiah said, “It’s just a phase. It’s not some kind of traditional contract you sign that you must live together until marriage and then have kids and so on." She was trying to provide a fresh perspective that it is okay for couples to not want to live together or rather to not have to live together just because the world says that it’s the expected thing to do.

She admitted that she was confused and surprised when she first heard the news. However, she went on to say, “As I thought more about it, I said, ‘Wait, this is a great idea.’” She said that they had been together for over three years and coming together after spending time without each other gives them room to make more "intentional time.” Maiah was extremely open-minded about the idea once she realized this. She also mentioned that her boyfriend was only going to be living a mile away and that it would be a “fun chapter” in their lives. However, the predicted standards of a relationship caused people to predict the end of her relationship in the comment section. The video received millions of views but the majority were not happy with her news. 

Many commenters urged her to believe that he was quietly trying to quit the relationship and that Maiah was not reading between the lines. @bessavalerie said, “I call this quiet quitting a relationship.” @klees07 said, “This is the first step of a breakup.” @jordannn04 said, “This is a sign and you should listen. He’s telling you without telling you.” The comments were many but Maiah didn’t seem to pay much heed to them. She knew what she was doing and this was evident in her next video where she reacted to the negative comments by sarcastically acting heartbroken and naive. 

But there’s more. Insider spoke with Dr. Isabelle Morely, a therapist in Boston, who reacted to the video by saying, “There’s no evidence that the relationship is in trouble.” She further shed light on an important perspective of the situation saying, “The way she describes their decision leads me to believe that they're acknowledging important dreams, discussing the reality of their age, making reasonable compromises to support each other and sharing a somewhat non-traditional path for their relationship." Right there, you have a professional stating that it’s okay to go with a non-traditional outlook on a relationship. 

Each relationship is unique and has its way of being built and strengthened. For Maiah, it meant taking time away from her boyfriend so they could focus on quality over quantity. Morley also mentioned in the article, “The joy of living in 2023 is that you have freedom to make any choice for your relationship.” What’s a bond if it is pecked on and shaken by the rest of the world? As a couple, your relationship relies on how you make it work, not how the world says it should.