Therapist explains what 'positive projection' is and how people can avoid this to improve relations

Trust is a fragile concept. Hence, many people are advised to take caution before trusting anyone. However, sometimes a person can find it hard to hold back on believing and may just assume that the person is trustworthy. Therapist Jessa White–who goes on TikTok by @therapyjessaofficial–shared that this is a frequently explored concept and explained the same in her video. The therapist, who often shares tips and tricks on psychology and the mind, also revealed how people can refrain from trusting too quickly. She began her video by saying, “When you’re a good person, when you’re a kind person when you’re not a manipulative person by nature, we have a tendency to assume that other people are like us.”

White then shed light on the concept of “positive projection,” which is a behavior that people with the aforementioned attributes usually display. “We project our positive qualities onto other people although we don’t have evidence yet that those people do possess those qualities,” the therapist explained. She then mentioned that her therapy clients also have such issues and she has a takeaway for them. “I always tell my therapy clients, ‘Let’s wait and see.’” White then added that one with such positive projection tendencies should take relationships slowly. She also suggested leaning towards the evidence one gets that a person is emotionally trustworthy and going by those rather than one’s assumptions.

“We’re not gonna go on how to wish they were, how we pray they were, how we hope they are,” the therapist added. She then clarified that taking things slow did not necessarily mean that one has to be overly cautious or doubtful. “Don’t be a total paranoid basket case about it,” she said. She stressed the need to have patience with people and relationships before one can assume things and trust them. “The proof should be in people’s behaviors and not just in their words,” White emphasized. She concluded her video by saying, “When you’re a trusting soul, it’s easy to think, ‘Well, they’re like me.’ But I always tell my clients, ‘No, they’re not like you or maybe we don’t know yet.’”

Several users on the platform commented on the video, which gave a reality check to many. With nearly 73K views and over 7K likes, viewers were pitching in with their experiences and opinions. @parasssite shared, “There is also negative projection where they think that we did something bad because if they were in our place, they’d do something bad themselves.” White also gave a fair piece of advice in the comments and said, “All kind people out there, keep your soft heart, just look for the signs too.” 

Many users added that they had learned this lesson the hard way. @benpen64 said, “I have been burned many times. I now know when people don’t think like me.” @akbu51 said, “I completely agree. I always hope and have faith that there will be a good soul but definitely have to wait and see.” @d_rapetswa said, “Truth lies in their behavior and actions. Energy never lies.”