Teacher feels torn between reclaiming personal downtime and the pressure to work after school hours

Being a teacher is not just a job. It is a lifestyle, a calling and sometimes, an all-consuming force. Many teachers give their heart and soul to their students, spending countless hours grading, planning and making sure everything runs smoothly in the classroom. But at what cost? One teacher, u/SeaworthyGoose on Reddit, recently opened up about this very dilemma in the r/Teachers community.

After years of pouring herself into her job, she found herself at a crossroads. “I’ve worked hard to progress my career and as I’ve reached a point of stability as a leader, I decided it was time to start getting some balance back into my life,” she shared. Like many teachers, she found herself stuck in the work-life balance guilt trap. She loved her job and was dedicated to her students, but she wanted to reclaim a part of her life outside the classroom. So, she made some changes. "This has included one hour of exercise a day, focusing on eating well and having downtime to myself when I get home from work for my interests," she revealed. "I’ve gone from working every day after work at home (for about 2-3 hrs) and on the weekend (up to five hours each day) to only allowing myself to work at home Wednesdays evenings and weekends when I need to."

But despite these positive changes, guilt quickly crept in. She wrote, "I keep feeling guilt about it and that I should be doing more. I keep feeling like I’m going to miss something or I’m not working hard enough. It’s so frustrating because I feel like I’m prioritizing my whole life, not just my work life, and I’m struggling with the adjustment." She concluded her post by asking the community for advice or whether others were sailing in the same boat.

People in the comments, mostly teachers, shared their experiences and advice. Some suggested setting firm boundaries and sticking to them. "No because taking care of myself makes me a better teacher and you can't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm," said u/HotChunkySoup. "I have my children at home. My students will have many teachers. My kids will only have one dad. After I’ve retired, I’ll still have my family. I’m not sacrificing my family," added u/irvmuller.

"At the risk of sounding harsh, you should feel guilty for neglecting your personal life and putting in too many non-contract hours. Honestly, it’s teachers like you that drive the rest of us crazy and it feels like you’re trying to make us look bad by 'going the extra mile' for free. This causes the administration to expect this from all of us. I’m glad you’re taking a step back, but I urge you to go even further back. Full stop working outside contract hours, please!" wrote u/smspluzws.

"I’m in my last few years and have seriously put in my time. But, if I look back, I regret some of the times I spent at school rather than at home. Every student-teacher I get, I try to remind them to live a little and set boundaries but yes, I totally hear you." shared u/Cultural_Rich8082. "Live in the present. Focus on what you can do now, not what you need to do. Your passion and care for teaching will shine through. And you’ll get better and more efficient as time goes on. Don’t stress yourself - do your best, love your kids and all will be good!" advised u/PeacefulGopher.