She secretly became her male best friend’s surrogate. 22 years later, her parents want to be grandparents to children she never intended to raise

Surrogacy often involves emotional complexities beyond pregnancy and childbirth. A woman secretly offered her womb to birth his best friend’s babies via surrogacy. All the while she was pregnant, she lived away from her parents, not letting them know about the surrogacy. About two decades later, when the truth came out, her parents started nagging her to see the children she gave birth to and insisted on taking the role of their grandparents because of the shared DNA. The child, who is now a 20-year-old man (u/ThrowRAOutyCell), is no longer interested in having this relationship since the woman was never their mother. His July 30, 2026 Reddit post has garnered more than 1,900 upvotes.

When altruism backfires

The man relayed the story of how his 50-year-old father conceived him despite being an aroace, which means he didn't have a sexual impulse or romantic interest in relationships. Despite his condition, however, he always wanted to be a father to children. His 50-year-old best friend offered to be a surrogate mom twice so he could have two kids. She was helping him merely because of their friendship and didn’t have any interest in being a mom. 

"My sister and I are cool with that. We wouldn't change our childhood for anything," the now-grown son described. Due to this, she never even communicated about the surrogacy with her parents. She knew they would make a big fuss about the DNA connection and demand to take on the role of the kids’ grandparents.

DNA chasing back

Everything was working without a hitch until a few months ago when the friend’s parents got to know everything. They were ticked off at the fact that a man who was aroace was raising the kids their daughter had given birth to. "They were pissed at dad's best friend and our dad. According to them, they had a right to know and be there for us," the man described. Now they are insisting on having a relationship with what they believe are their grandchildren, regardless of the fact that their daughter was never the mom. "This whole thing has been stressful the last couple of months, and I really just want some advice because I'm not sure what's the best move here," he said.

To whom do they belong?

The friend likely birthed the babies using traditional surrogacy, because according to WebMD, babies birthed from gestational surrogacy do not share the DNA with the surrogate mother. In this case, the birth mother just carries the baby. According to the 2020 statistics published by ASRM’s journal Fertility & Sterility, nearly 40,177 surrogate births take place each year in the United States. Of these, about 41.3% of the parents were males and belonged to a different state than the surrogate mother.

'Just because you share DNA doesn't make them family'

Readers comforted the man to stave off the grandparents’ demands since they are not obliged to them in any way. u/RellaWP commented, “Just because you share DNA doesn't make them family; your Dad and his best friend's reasons for not telling them seem like the right call considering how they are carrying on now. It is your choice if you want a relationship with them or not; it's not mandatory. You make your own decisions.” u/Plane_Practice8184 said, “They are too late because you are now adults. Send them a cease and desist letter.”

More on Scoop Upworthy

'Father' ran out on surrogate after she delivered his twins. 20 months later, he wants them back

Couple officially adopt their biological children after winning 2-yr-long legal battle

Dad gets DNA test after finding daughter 'too pretty' — learns an unexpected secret