Doula gives powerful pep talk to new mom about breastfeeding stigmas: 'You're not a failure'

Moms often face numerous challenges as they bring life into this world. Society can sometimes be cruel by perpetuating stigmas around motherhood. One of them includes reminding moms of the supposed superiority of breastmilk. One mom on TikTok shared her story of how her doula supported her instead of shaming her during a vulnerable moment. Mom of two, Nika Diwa, had a heart-to-heart with her doula Lilian Bodunrin, who gave her a powerful pep talk about breastfeeding.

Watching videos of other moms breastfeeding their children made Diwa feel inadequate. She said she felt like a failure but Bodunrin quickly came to her defense. “You have to understand that comparison is the thief of joy,” she tells her in the clip while holding Diwa's precious newborn. “You have to be on your journey in the way that is best for you and your family.”

“I just feel like, with the milk, I’m not going to be, like, a real woman,” Diwa confessed, adding, “I know! That’s such a lie!” Instead of dismissing her feelings, Bodunrin provided a safe space for Diwa's concerns. “I’m also gonna hold space for that feeling because a lot of women struggle with that. It’s deeply rooted. Where is that coming from?” she questioned.

Diwa admitted she felt less-than and like she is “failing if I don’t breastfeed.” “That’s a lie, Nika,” the doula responded. “You’re not a failure. That’s a lie.” Bodunrin then explained that everyone is different and that they get to decide what's the right thing for them. “You are choosing what is best for you and your family,” she shared. “Your mental health matters, and this baby girl would much rather have her mama okay as a whole, and still get fed if there’s another option.”

Diwa’s post quickly went viral, gaining over 1.5 million views. @pixi_thrasher commented, "Your doula is a goddess. What a beautiful woman. You’ve got this Nika!" @jenalouise3 added, "Ok literally crying because I wish somebody said this to me 7 months ago when I was deep in the trenches of postpartum." @erinthehippie420 said, "You’re so NOT FAILING! Your baby’s loved and healthy and taken care of and THAT'S what matters Mama."

Another user reminded the mom that social media is not always the whole truth and it only shows people's curated lives. Many posts show exaggerated, photoshopped and picture-perfect lifestyles which aren't always realistic. @curlykeish said, "This is why social media can be so toxic because of the comparisons we feel and pressures from society. Fed babies are happy babies. Look at how much we do." @erinthehippie420 added, "And don’t watch that if it makes you feel less than!! You’re NOT!! You’re a freaking warrior!!"