Matchmaker was baffled after her 'perfect' client was rejected by 11 women in 6 months — then she learned what he says on every first date
His first reaction was to explain to Kapoor why the women misunderstood him
Rejection is a part of the dating game, and not every match leads to a relationship. On a related note, Oendrila Kapoor (@oendrila.kapoor), a matchmaker and dating coach, shared the story of one of her clients who experienced consecutive rejections from eleven girls in just six months. Looking at her client's impressive profile, Kapoor was confident she could find a match for him within a few weeks, but when that did not happen, she decided to dig further. Confused, the matchmaker started talking to all the girls who had rejected the man and finally understood why. The post, shared on June 1, has received over 300 likes on Threads.
'I left feeling smaller.'
The man was 29 years old, an IIT and IIM graduate, with an annual income of roughly $83.6K. He looked good on paper, but could not seem to find his match. Kapoor initially thought the rejections were due to bad fits or maybe because of his nervousness. But by the ninth rejection, Kapoor decided to talk to the women directly to understand the problem. The man wasn't rude or arrogant. He did not even flaunt his wealth, but everyone said the same thing about him. The first woman said he had mansplained to her why her opinion on working from home was "statistically incorrect." Similarly, the man had interrupted the second woman three times to correct her facts, which were already correct. What the third woman said, however, left a lasting impact on Kapoor. She told the matchmaker, "I left feeling smaller than when I arrived." Kapoor summed up the problem, "He was just unable to let anything go unchallenged." Every conversation became a debate he had to win. Every difference of opinion became a problem to be solved."
Getting better at the dating game
As his matchmaker, Kapoor talked him through the feedback, but his first reaction was to explain to her why the women misunderstood him. Kapoor gently explained, "The most impressive thing about you on paper is becoming the most exhausting thing about you in person — the skills that got you the IIT rank, the need to be right, the instinct to find errors — those skills will actively work against you across a dinner table." Instead of being offended, the man, thankfully, acknowledged the issue and began working with a counsellor to become a better version of herself. "Eleven rejections and he's still showing up. That takes the same hard work that got him everything else. He just needs to point it in a different direction," Kapoor added.
First date impact
In 2022, a Dating.com survey identified the top reasons people are rejected after a first date, showing how much first impressions matter. The study found 53% of respondents were turned off by their potential partner asking whether they were ready to commit on their first date. While 34% said their first interaction was ruined because they couldn't contribute much to the conversation as their date was too busy talking about themselves. Moreover, nearly half (47%) of single respondents confessed the way a date treated others, such as servers or bartenders, influences whether they would see them again. It means first impressions do matter, especially when it comes to choosing a romantic partner. This further justifies why all the women rejected Kapoor's client, despite him having a stellar profile on paper.
Netizens have mixed reactions
Meanwhile, people in the comment section had a mix of opinions about the man. For instance, @bhavesh_artsy wrote, "He needs more EQ than IQ." Similarly, @shesgotmore assumed, "He might be autistic with highly enabling parents who let him have his way because he was a boy and has high intellect."
You can follow Oendrila Kapoor (@oendrila.kapoor) on Threads for more dating and lifestyle content.
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