Yes, parents do have a favorite child. New study confirms suspicions of every sibling ever

Parents might insist they love all their children equally, but new research suggests otherwise — and the findings point to a consistent pattern in who tends to be favored. Researchers from Brigham Young University and Western University analyzed 30 peer-reviewed studies and dissertations, along with data from 14 databases, in a meta-analysis of "parental differential treatment." The term covers everything from how affection is given to the way conflicts are handled, to how much time, money, and independence each child receives.

Across families, daughters were more likely to receive preferential treatment. "Daughters tend to be favored, and that was across the board," said study co-author Alex Jensen. Children who were more agreeable or conscientious also ranked higher, regardless of gender. Birth order played a role as well. Firstborns tended to receive more autonomy, which may be expected when older children are more capable. But researchers noted that the extra freedom often persisted well into adulthood. In many families, the eldest daughter took on a greater share of responsibility, a pattern that can start early and last for decades.

Jensen believes the preference for daughters may be less about cultural expectations and more about behavior. "Maybe daughters are just a little bit easier to parent," he said, pointing to research showing girls often have fewer behavior problems in school — a pattern that can carry over into the home. According to the study, children perceived as favored tend to enjoy better mental health, stronger family bonds, and fewer behavioral issues. Those who feel less favored are at greater risk for negative outcomes. In cases where favoritism is extreme, even the "favorite" can be harmed by the dynamic.

Harvard Medical School psychiatrist Dr. Blaise Aguirre says parents often feel closer to children whose temperament mirrors their own. An emotionally intense child can confuse a more even-tempered parent, while an easygoing child may feel like less work. "People, just generally speaking, tend to feel closer to those who are temperamentally similar to who they are," Aguirre told HuffPost. Perception plays a powerful role. Aguirre notes that humans are wired to remember rejection more vividly than praise. "If you’re getting equal amounts of praise and rejection, if you could actually measure 50% praise, 50% rejection, when your parents criticize you for your behavior, you’re going to remember that more." Unless they're praising your sibling, then "you’ll remember your sibling’s positive praise much more than you remember their rejection."

Addressing favoritism early can help prevent it from becoming ingrained. Aguirre suggested that parents listen without defensiveness when children bring up concerns and invite them to share specific examples of what they see. He added that parents say something like, "That’s just not my experience, but clearly, it’s yours. So, tell me: What is it that you see?" Getting them to kind of understand their own state of mind and understand the state of mind of the parent," and having them name and label what their experience is." Aguirre recalled his mother of eight who made sure no one left feeling second-best. "When my mom was dying, we were all spending time with her. She called us in one by one and told each of us, 'You’re my favorite.' It was only later that the siblings discovered she’d said the same thing to every single one," he said.