Teacher was confused when student thanked her for ‘saying my name’ — but the revelation broke her heart
'You actually ask me things in a nice way and listen to me.'
Sometimes kids only want to be heard, seen, and felt. The conversations can be vague, but it's the little moments that make them feel important, making them believe in themselves and fostering self-growth and confidence. Corrie (@cor.thecounselor), a school counselor who helps educators build a positive classroom culture, realized it when a student thanked her for saying their name. The teacher was surprised and couldn't understand the profound impact she had left on that student until she learned the heartbreaking reason the child felt validated when she took her name. Corrie posted the video on May 19.
Corrie said she wouldn't ever forget when a student approached her after class and said, "Mrs. Sass, thank you for saying my name. I like the way you say it." The teacher couldn't understand why the student was so overwhelmed by her gesture. She decided to talk to them, and then the student made the most devastating confession. They said their parents were very neglectful of the child. In fact, the student confessed that their parents didn't talk to them, and whenever they did, they always yelled. "They never ask me how I’m feeling or my opinion on anything. When I get to your class, you do. That’s why I love doing your attendance questions. You actually ask me things in a nice way and listen to me," the student explained to Corrie.
That conversation left a lasting impact on the school counselor. "I thought of my attendance questions in a completely different way. The questions are so much more than just a question. There are SO many benefits that come from doing the activity," she said. Corrie explained that her attendance questions are the perfect social-emotional learning (SEL) activity, and it is much more than just asking a simple question to each student daily. She said it not only fosters empathy, social skills, and student connections, but also helps cultivate a sense of belonging in your room, and more. You can watch the video here!
Kids must have consistent, responsive relationships with adults who value them. When this is achieved, they feel safe and supported, according to Dr. Daniel Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and executive director of the Mindsight Institute. On the other hand, neglectful parents are more likely to raise underconfident and insecure kids. This explains why Corrie's student was so moved by her simple gesture. At home, the kid wasn't used to being talked to nicely, and when it happened in school, it gave them a new perspective about themself.
Meanwhile, reacting to Corrie's video, @taniagreenhalgh commented, "Teachers don't just teach the curriculum. They are so much more than a person displaying facts and figures." @carrieba2 wrote, "I do this in class every day, and I sometimes worry others would think I was wasting valuable core content on this. This video reaffirms my reasons and belief in continuing to do this." Similarly, @fabulous.miss.sarah said, "Questions like yours can set a completely different vibe in a classroom and help students to understand/feel that they are truly seen, so thank you in advance for some new ideas."
@anniedouglass shared, "NAME. Thank you in advance for sharing! I am an elementary music teacher. I began doing something similar with my first-grade students last year. They seemed so desperate to want to share and be heard, and I found they were much more willing and eager to learn once they had that chance. Though I only saw them 50 minutes once a week, it was worth it to spend a little time doing it in each lesson. It was also a chance to teach the other students to take an interest in their classmates and practice respectful listening skills. I plan to continue this year with all my grades."
You can follow Corrie (@cor.thecounselor) on Instagram for more student-teacher-related content.
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