10 people share the major reasons why dating in the modern world is so hard

Sep 15, 2023

By: Abhiram Sajai

Modern dating is tough

One would think that better means of communication would benefit dating in the modern world. But that is not the case as very few people are able to find love and end up in unideal relationships. The emergence of dating apps and a plethora of messaging often l...

1. Not making an effort

Call me old-fashioned, but it’s the complete lack of mystique in my opinion. Part of the fun of dating pre-internet was learning about a person and getting to know them through conversation and shared experience. We are more connected than ever before but ther...

2. Lack of a deep connection

The gamification of swiping left or right on hundreds of profiles based on 2 seconds of first impressions, typing one-word messages, and then ghosting them or unmatching because you’re bored. Not treating them like actual humans. There’s always a new profile t...

3. Just being tired

We're tired, boss. Just plain worn out, burnt out, run down tired. Work-life balance is dead, society is mentally draining, and literally everything worth doing costs money. When are you supposed to meet that person when you get home from work and immedia...

4. No places to meet

The death of the third place. There’s nowhere to go in our society that doesn’t cost money. u/mynameisryannarby. Yes to this! There are cute guys who come through the office, but it’s a setting where I can’t attempt taking a shot at interest without being ...

5. Escapism

I mean, life in general. But getting more specific, I'd say escapism. Social media, gaming, drugs and alcohol. It's all a way to escape reality and while it feels good in the moment, it takes you away from the process of growing as a person and growi...

6. High expectations

According to my 5 nieces, who are single in their mid-20s to early 30s, it's a problem to find a man who a) won't dump you if you don't sleep with them by the third date b) will commit and not cheat c) wants marriage and children in the future. ...

7. Seeing it as a competition

Frankly, pick-up artistry killed modern dating. So many men have this attitude that dating is a “game” and they need to “win”. Advice like “always talk to multiple women, hedge your bets” may work if you’re trying to hook up but attitudes like that kill genuin...

8. Not having time

The true killer is lack of time. We have built our society in a way where we work 9-5 or at least 8 hours (some do more), work out a bit to keep healthy (even if that is walking it is still time) and then try to keep a healthy diet. This means that at least 5 ...

9. Social media

Definitely social media. Any time I’m in a relationship and take a social media break (disable my account), my partner or friends think the relationship ended. All I see on social media are posts about cheating being glorified, what the ideal man/woman is,...

10. Being emotionally unavailable

Many people are way too emotionally unavailable while also dealing with untreated trauma. A lot of those people (good majority) are on dating apps. It’s easier to hide commitment issues and other red flags behind a screen. Or those looking for the next best th...