Woman wished her late mom could be in the delivery room — then her stepmom overheard and crossed a line

Childbirth is already an exhaustive experience for a woman. At this point, stress of any kind, whether physical, mental, or emotional, can be harrowing, not just for her but also for the baby. An expecting woman (u/spirited-winter4147) shared a similar instance, where her stepmom tried to sabotage her delivery day by forcing herself into the process. While the woman clearly didn’t want her presence in those moments, her stepmom refused to understand and continued intruding on her personal preferences. To date, her post has received over 3,000 upvotes online.

The 'forceful' involvement

Shared on September 7, 2023, the author mentioned she was only 6 when she lost her biological mom, and by 8, her stepmom entered her life. Well, from the very beginning, she wanted to adopt her stepdaughter, but the author always refused. Over the years, the stepmom tried her best to fill in for her real mom, often competing with her memory. The woman believed that despite having four sons of her own, she always wanted a daughter, which is why she continued to pursue her love. The other day, the pregnant woman posted a comment on a Facebook page saying she would have loved her mom to take her to the delivery room. This particular comment reached her stepmom, who suggested she accompany her to the delivery room.

The stepdaughter refused and went about her life. The stepmother, however, didn't move past the topic. "She said I was already honoring my mom and MIL with my daughter's name (not their actual names but associations with them), and I have never acknowledged her as being a mom to me or even a grandma to my daughter," the woman shared. Once again, the author refused, saying her stepmom can never replace her real mom. "I told her that she was my stepmom and she was not someone I would feel comfortable having there for the moment," the woman confessed. This escalated the situation even more, as the stepmom tried to involve her father, who refused to interfere. Nevertheless, she also asked the stepdaughter to delete the comment. 

Obsessive Relational Intrusion

The behavior the stepmom displayed can be likened to what psychologists call "Obsessive Relational Intrusion (ORI)," as described in the Aggression and Violent Behavior journal. For those who aren't aware, ORI, in simple terms, refers to continuous and unwanted invasion of privacy. In fact, Brian H. Spitzberg and William R. Cupach, the authors of the book "The Dark Side of Close Relationships," defined the term as "repeated and unwanted pursuit and invasion of one’s sense of physical or symbolic privacy by another person, either stranger or acquaintance, who desires and/or presumes an intimate relationship." Interestingly, such behavior is more common than we imagine. A study published in the Violence and Victims Journal evaluated 63 specific ORI behaviors in people and reported that 3% and 78% of respondents agreed experiencing these behaviors across multiple situations. Needless to say, such persistent behavior often leads to disturbances, especially with in-laws.

Reddit's opinion

In the meantime, Reddit readers supported the woman, reassuring her that she did nothing wrong. For instance, u/leopard-recent said, “NTA and once and for all, childbirth is not a spectator sport. I'm sorry your stepmother is offended, but she is ridiculous trying to demand a level of closeness that simply doesn't exist." Similarly, u/slendermanismydad shared, "You weren't 'blessed' with two moms. This is so gross. She's trying to invade the most vulnerable moment of your life to prove you see her as a mother. I'd start cutting way down on contact. Let her harass her own kids. NTA."

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