Parents cut off 18-year-old son's school funds to teach him a lesson — gets a taste of their own medicine 10 years later
He was raised with Western values, but the same did not apply to the parents
It is a common view in many societies that children are supposed to take care of their aging parents when they grow up, but one Reddit user wanted to give his parents a taste of their own medicine. The 29-year-old single child comes from an upper-middle-class family, living in a "collectivist family-centric Asian society," according to BoredPanda. His parents were heavily influenced by Western media and raised him with those values in mind. Because of this, they decided to cut off financial support when he was 18 and left him to figure out how to pay for his higher education.
The author explained that getting a higher education where he lived was extremely expensive and competitive. He did not have time for a part-time job because that was not the norm, and no one would hire a college student for good pay. He argued that 99% of parents willingly pay for their children's education. In exchange, children are expected to take care of their parents when they are old. Since their household income was in the top 10% nationally, the son thought his parents would have no problem with finding his education since he was an only child. However, they refused.
The parents justified their decision, saying it was for his own self-growth and independence, so he could learn to be strong from a young age. Despite doing really well in high school, he did not manage to get into a good engineering college because of financial restrictions and only managed to get a free scholarship to a low-ranked college. This greatly impacted his career, since college prestige was a factor in the job market.
Throughout his 20s, he worked hard to reach the position he is now in and felt like he "sacrificed" several years of his life. However, a decade later, the situation flipped when his father retired, and his mother was nearing her retirement. They asked for his support (emotional and physical). The author said that their request felt hypocritical because they raised him with Western values, but expected traditional Asian family support when it came to them.
At the moment, the author is living separately from his parents and visits once every six months. He maintains an emotional distance and even suggested they look into old-age homes for the future. He also shared how his mother compares him to other children who are "supporting" their parents, and he reminds her that these parents supported their children in return.
According to a new Pew Research Center survey, there are 93% of adults over the age of 65 live in their own houses. Out of the 93%, only 9% of them have someone who provides care for them. The survey also asked adults who live on their own how they would like to proceed in case they cannot live alone anymore. The majority (60%) said they wanted to remain in their own place and have someone care for them, 18% are willing to move into an assisted living facility, 11% wanted to move in with a family member, and only 1% wished to move into a nursing home. Similarly, the author's parents wanted to live with their only son, but because of their past, he wasn't willing to take them in.
The original Reddit post was deleted, but people in the comments were supporting the author and blaming the parents for their lack of empathy. u/RJack151 left a sarcastic response saying, "NTA. 'Sorry, but if you had paid for my college, I would have had enough money to take care of you. But since you didn't, I can only afford my bills.'" u/ElectricSky87 added, "NTA. Time for them to reap what they have sown. Even here in the West, many families I know helped pay for their kids' education if they were able to."
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