Single working mom cancels teen daughter's driving lesson for refusing to value her time

Parents usually go out of their way to see a smile on their children's faces. However, there are also times when parents have to put their foot down for good reasons. A 56-year-old single mother, u/Desperate-Film599, recently took to Reddit to share a similar experience. She described a situation where her 17-year-old daughter wanted to go out to "practice driving" since she had her "learner's permit." The mother asked her daughter to be ready when she got home from work. She had planned her day accordingly, only for it to be disrupted by her daughter's tardiness. In her post, she shared the subsequent argument with her daughter and asked for people's opinions.

The woman was a single working mom with a lot on her plate. "I clean houses for a living. Obviously, it's physically demanding. I'm exhausted when I come home most days. Once I finally sit down at the end of the day? I do not want to get back up," she shared in the post. She explained how her daughter, who is on the spectrum, often made her wait due to struggling with time management. "I refuse to let her use that as an excuse. I try to teach her ways to get around it," she added. "Start getting ready earlier, set alarms, etc. I even help her with reminders. The one thing I will not do is enable her. She needs to learn to respect other people's time instead of saying, 'Oh well, it's my ASD,'" the mother wrote in the post. 

Reflecting on the incident, the mother explained, "I worked an especially hard day yesterday. I was still willing to take her driving when I got home. I texted her I was on my way. She asked how long? 45 minutes. I texted her when I was about 5 minutes away. Be ready." However, things took a turn when her daughter decided to use the treadmill for over 45 minutes and lost track of time. "She wanted to shower before we went. I told her no. Be ready when I get there. She got in the shower anyway. I walked in while she was still showering. Which means I'd have to sit and wait while she finished showering and got dressed," the mother wrote. 

That was when the mother decided against going for the practice drive. "I refused. Once my a** sat down... I wasn't getting back up. I was crystal clear about that. She now thinks I'm an unreasonable a***ole. I'm not a complete harda**. I understand her challenges. If it was a one-off thing? I'd be more lenient. But this is chronic. And disrespectful of others," she wrote. In later updates to her post, the mother emphasized that she supported her daughter in every way she could with her ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). However, she made it clear that she wouldn’t tolerate her daughter being unappreciative and unresponsive to her requests. She concluded by asking the Reddit community if she was at fault for not going ahead with the driving lesson.

People in the comment section shared their thoughts on the situation. Many supported the mother's decision, acknowledging the importance of setting boundaries and teaching responsibility, especially when dealing with time management. "You set clear boundaries and you're allowed to do so. I have ADHD and of course, I have issues with different things, but that doesn't mean everyone around me has to take the consequences. Having a diagnosis might be an explanation for certain things, meaning people shouldn't yell at you and say sh*t like, 'You just don't want it enough,' but it doesn't mean people can't set boundaries or make demands if they're doing something for you," wrote u/piqueboo369. "This isn't a time management issue. This is her being self-centered. She made two bad decisions to do what she felt like doing, completely ignoring what she was told simply because it didn't suit her. Choices have consequences," added u/TipsyBaker_.