Single dad who has fostered 36 kids shares 4 practical parenting tips that are truly special

Raising a child is a unique experience of its own and while many have suggestions, hacks and tips to offer, the only advice that matters is the one that works for one’s child. The journey sure isn’t easy but is definitely worth it. Peter Mutabazi is a single dad who has fostered 36 kids over the past 7 years and has had quite the journey with different experiences, perspectives and more. Speaking with CNBC Make It, the dad who now raises 6 kids, of which three are fosters, explains what parenting tips work for him and are worth considering. Mutabazi shared his story, “I grew up the poor of the poorest."

15-year-old Mutabzi was then sent to a Christian school via the courtesy of a man named James whom Mutabzi would help shop. He worked as a relief worker before university and after acquiring his degree, became a non-profit manager to sponsor children in developing countries. Speaking of his thoughts and doubts, he said in his memoir, “Now I Am Known: How a Street Kid Turned Foster Dad Found Acceptance and True Worth.” “I knew I was making a difference in the lives of children, but everything I did kept those children at a safe distance.” 

Having started as a mentor for at-risk kids at an agency in Oklahoma City, he realized, “I can be a good dad … I can parent in the best way I can.” He then shared 4 tips that he has learned with his foster kids over the ears and practiced. The first was dealing with anger. Mutabazi mentioned how his then 5-year-old son would have screaming fits. “Once he went into that [angry] mode, he just didn’t know how to come back,” Mutabazi said. He added, “My approach was to say, how do I help this kid regulate, control his anger, but also know that I was there for him … rather than focusing on what I was seeing, but focusing on what was causing it helped me to know how to parent him.”

Mutabazi’s next tip was “words of affirmation.” The dad shared that when he was a teenager living with James, he’d jot down all the positive things he was told. He mentioned that these words of affirmation are what guided him in his approach to his kids. “I memorized the words: you’re chosen, you matter, you’re special, you’re enough, you’re a gift, you’re not alone, and I make sure I’m going to use those words at all times,” he said. Mutabazi’s 11-year-old son had issues with abandonment and his approach has been one of reassurance.

“That has helped him to know, ‘Hey, my dad loves me no matter what, despite the challenges that I have,’” the dad said. Celebrating small achievements is one way that Mutabazi shows love to the children in his care. He mentioned that one of his sons struggled to make his bed and when he gradually learned, he was grateful to applaud him. Through the small wins, Mutabazi has assured his kids of his love and faith in them regardless.

The fourth and last tip Mutabazi shared was for parents with teenagers. “When you have a 14- or 15-year-old … if you put yourself as a mentor rather than a dad or mom, it helps,” he said. He added, “A teenager is being a teenager, there are hormones, there’s trauma, there’s disrespect … when you’re looking [at] your kid, look through those lenses and [say to yourself] which one am I dealing with?” Mutabazi's guide to parenting will definitely help a lot of parents.