She was once a bully in school — until her mom's unexpected life lesson made her see things differently

Every parent might do something different if they find out that their child is a bully. Some of them might not do anything to stop their children, while others might punish them. Recently, a TikTok user @absurdoblivion, who refers to herself as Steph, discussed a life-changing event. Taking to the social media platform, Steph explained how her mom, who was a gentle parent, was horrified by the news that her daughter was bullying another child. Her mom's reaction had a significant impact on her, and she never bullied anyone again. 

Bullying has become a worry for parents across America, according to the Stop Bullying initiative of the US government. A study found that 15.4% of students reported being bullied by a more powerful student. It was also found that some students were repeatedly targeted, with 14.5% reporting they were harassed repeatedly, according to US government studies conducted by the National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice Statistics and the 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System coordinated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The video was shared in light of the incident where a mom crashed into a classroom and shamed her child’s bully because no one else was doing anything about it. "We have to take bullying very seriously," the former bully pointed out. "There are many techniques and strategies in place…but in order to deal with bullying, the first skill you must build in the bully is empathy."

Steph revealed that she grew up with a mom who never grounded or punished her. Whatever punishment she received was usually the natural consequence of her actions. Steph even wished she were grounded sometimes, so she wouldn't have to change herself. Nonetheless, when the neighbor turned up at her mom's doorstep to tell her that Steph was bullying her child, Lisa (not her real name, but for the sake of the story), on the school bus, the mom was furious.

Steph had said several demeaning things to her daughter on the ride back home from school, according to Lisa's mom. "Obviously my mom was shook. She was shook. She was mad. Like, my mom was big mad. Oh, she was big mad. And my mom was never big mad," Steph recounted. The mom immediately confronted her and asked, "What are you going to do about it? I am shocked and disappointed with your behavior and that you'd be cruel to another person."

Steph said that she would apologize to the girl. They immediately went to Lisa's house and the mom made her daughter apologize in front of the entire family. "Lisa, I'm really sorry for the things that I've been saying to you," the woman said. Steph's mom even made her repeat everything she had said to Lisa and apologize for it.

"I still feel like it's a pit in my stomach. I still feel shame around that. I never want to let go of that shame. That shame is good. That's good shame," Steph confessed. After that, she made her apologize to Lisa's mom as well for causing her distress. Steph went on to recount how Lisa's mom said it would take them some time to forgive her. The woman continued to feel apologetic about the incident for a long time and continues to feel that way.

"That's such a lesson in humility. That's like one of the best natural consequences because my mom could have railed into me; she could have grounded me; she could have done whatever," remarked Steph. People took to the comments section to express their thoughts on what her mom did.

@belgianshepherdambitions wrote, "Appropriate shame is so important in human social path development. Your mom is a queen for doing this." @christiansaidso commented, "Making you repeat everything in front of her mom is the ultimate consequence." @charlieisnotmyname remarked, "Both mothers were incredibly good at emotional intelligence in your story. Well done mums. Thanks for sharing."

You can follow @absurdoblivion on TikTok for more lifestyle content.