About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy
© GOOD Worldwide Inc. All Rights Reserved.

She wanted to be alone on Mother's Day—does that make her a bad mom?

A doting mother was criticized for wanting some alone time on Mother's Day. She took to Reddit to ask if it made her a bad mom.

She wanted to be alone on Mother's Day—does that make her a bad mom?
Image Source: Halfpoint Images / Getty Images

Mothers are definitely not a monolith. While some would love attention from their children on Mother's Day, others, such as Reddit user BadMomsChristmas, just want some peace and quiet. However, she wondered if that makes her a bad mother. Taking to the forum Am I the A*shole, the 40-something mom of elementary school-aged kids asked if she was in the wrong for wanting to enjoy the day by herself. She was prompted to pose the question after she faced severe criticism for her decision. Thankfully, most commentors said she was definitely not a jerk in this scenario. Some moms even said the "alone time" the original poster described sounded like the perfect way to spend Mother's Day.


"I love [my children] more than words; [my] husband is awesome and we have a great relationship," BadMomsChristmas wrote. "He definitely does his share of child rearing (not exactly 50/50 due to logistics of our jobs) but definitely does more housework than I do. We are really one of those happy families... But I’m TIRED and crave QUIET. I do drop-off every morning because hubs goes to work at 6 am. Getting the kids up, dressed, fed, packed, and off to school ranges from seamless cheerful mornings (rare) all the way to all of us screaming and crying and punishments threatened (luckily also rare). But, kids will be kids."


The mother went on to share what her weeks generally look like. For instance, she works a full day at a semidemanding job where she has to talk to people most hours of the day. Meanwhile, weekends are generally pretty chill without too many commitments. She usually has at least an hour or two when her children are preoccupied. During this break, she can enjoy some well-deserved "me time." She stated, "[I] read a book or stare at TikTok or whatever."


Therefore, to give her a longer break, her husband volunteered to take the children to her father-in-law's house on Friday and return on Sunday afternoon. "I love this idea as it gives me TWO mornings to sleep in and an entire full day to myself," she explained. "Plus the kids love [their grandpa's] house and will have a blast." Other family members and friends, in contrast, did not love the idea. BadMomsChristmas shared, "Well, to hear others' reactions, the fact that I will wake up Sunday morning to a quiet house obviously means I am a horrible person and really don’t love my kids at all. I mean, (gasp!) what MOTHER doesn’t want to spend Mother’s Day with her CHILDREN!’ Hi, Yes, that would be me. Someone even told my husband he was the a*shole for making Mother’s Day about him and his family." Hence, she asked if she was indeed a jerk.


Resoundingly, fellow Reddit users said she was definitely not wrong for wanting some peace and quiet. One person commented, "As a mom of three I can say that this sounds like the perfect Mother’s Day!" Another added, "The luxury of 24 hours free of any demands sounds fantastic. I have always thought it was ridiculous (and sexist) that people have no issue with the idea of dads wanting to be childfree on Father's Day to go play golf or watch a game or whatever, but mothers are expected to want to spend the day with their kids."


In conclusion, BadMomsChristmas was able to enjoy Mother's Day alone without the guilt of feeling like a horrible mother. She also had some advice for spouses who placed her husband on a pedestal for essentially doing the bare minimum: "Yes, [my husband] is awesome but I didn’t think he was some type of unicorn above all other dads or partners. Take this as a hint. Make a point to give your spouse some time to themselves. You will get mega bonus points. Most people relish if not the quiet, just lack of obligations. Plan an outing away from the house for your kids for a whole day, or start with just a few hours. Sometimes we just want quiet in our own space."


More Stories on Scoop