She seemed like his dream girl until she stopped mid-kiss and said her ex was coming to town. He refused to be the 'second choice'
He thought he had finally met 'the one' until he saw a different side of her
After a few good dates, most of us start imagining a future with the person we're with, right? A man who goes by "u/thejitteryheathen " on Reddit had started doing just that, until the woman he's seeing revealed her "nasty" plans with her ex. Surprisingly, despite being so open about spending time with her ex, she expected the man to trust her without question. The post, shared on September 22, 2026, has received over 4,000 upvotes.
A girl I had amazing chemistry with lore dropped afterwards.
by u/TheJitteryHeathen in BoyDinnerDiaries
The almost perfect match
The author thought he had finally met "the one" until he saw a different side of her. "[She] matched 90% of what I was yearning for — very left, my age, nearby, great body, funny, great conversations, lost hours chatting," the man said. After a few good dates, he finally invited her home. The couple spent hours talking about life, their families, music, religions, and much more. While talking, she suddenly pulled him for a kiss. It seemed like the evening was headed in a more intimate direction, but halfway into the kiss, she pulled away. The woman stopped the author and said she could not go any further.
He kept his dignity
The woman revealed her ex-boyfriend was coming to town, and she planned to hang out with him. She hoped things would turn around and they could get back together. The author confessed, "I’m crushed — but I keep it together." The woman continued to discuss how they may still have a chance together if things didn't work out with her ex.
"[She] tells me I’m a brilliant guy, with all the green flags, great at this and that — blah blah blah. She’d love to see me again," he recounted. However, the author respected himself too much to be someone else's second choice. He flat-out said no to future hangouts. He remained courteous the entire time, then walked her to the door and wished her well. "I had very, very much hoped that something different would have happened tonight. I’m going to carry this with me a little bit, and it’s, unfortunately, going to suck," the author added.
Friends with exes
Unfortunately, feelings don't fade away immediately after a breakup, and the woman is proof of that. A 2026 survey by The Matchmaking Company found that 66% of Americans still kept in contact with a few of their exes, and 58% believed that people can be "just friends" with their exes. Similarly, a 2021 YouGov survey found that 21% of Americans have reconciled with an ex more than once, while 23% went back to their exes just once. This was exactly the case with the woman. While she was seeing the author, her lingering feelings for her ex-boyfriend prevented her from building a new bond with the author.
'You made the right decision'
Netizens consoled the author in the comments but assured him that he made the right decision. u/ThinkgeMorbid commented, "I congratulate you on your self-respect. You gotta be strong to be so upfront in the moment with someone." u/Dreadwings added, "Man, she sounds like a time waster. People like that suck. I dated someone like that for a year thinking it would change, but she would always be stuck on her ex. It doesn't get better, and you can do better than that parasite."
More on Scoop Upworthy
Man refuses to get his date water, calling it 'subservience'— so she got up and walked out mid-date
Share on Facebook
