She moved cities, lost her friends, and had his baby 13 months ago. Now he’s demanding she give him her rental income too

One 38-year-old woman (u/hetgeluidvanrijp) is jostling with the complex mathematics of finances involved in communal living. Four years after moving into her boyfriend's home, a woman found herself questioning the financial arrangement they had carefully planned together. After her income dropped following the birth of their daughter, she suggested keeping the rental income from her own apartment separate from their joint finances. His response surprised her: if she kept that income, he argued, she should start paying rent to live in his house. Her August 3, 2026 Reddit post has garnered more than 300 comments.

Money chronicles

Before moving in together, the woman and her boyfriend lived in different cities. He owned a bigger house in a small city; she purchased a small apartment in a trendy big city neighbourhood. They decided to move into his house while the woman’s apartment was rented out. Back in time, they were the perfect picture of a happy relationship. Each one happily contributed their 50% share in the household chores.

They charted out a transparent organization of their finances and held a joint account. The rent from her apartment went to this joint account, and their wages were deposited into their separate bank accounts. The investments and dividends her partner operated remained separate, while the mortgages were nearly the same, but paid separately.

Math ain't mathing

About 13 months ago, the woman got pregnant, and her income shrank. She brought up that she should separate her apartment’s rent income from the joint account, but he insisted that, in that case, she would need to pay the rent for his house, even though she didn’t hold any equity. “I can see the logic in what he’s saying, but it doesn’t ‘feel’ right to me,” she expressed.

She confessed that the situation suddenly evoked the pain of sacrifices she had made in the initial stage of the relationship. Not only did she move her city, but she also had to leave an apartment she loved and had to part from her friends. The commute to her work, which was once only 35 minutes away, became 1.5-2 hours away. With mental load added to the list, she started suffering from an autoimmune disorder.

After all this, she was now being asked to pay the rent for living in her partner’s house, who was also the daddy of her one-year-old daughter. “The argument of paying rent to live in a city that feels like a sacrifice feels like an insult to injury,” she confessed and asked Reddit whether she was being too emotional in dealing with the circumstance. At the same time, she admitted that her partner is still an amazing spouse and father, and often makes up for the income she lost due to childbirth. Also, they are looking forward to getting married. Currently, they're registered civil partners.

Money: maker or wrecker?

According to a SunTrust survey, finances are the number one cause of conflict in relationships. 35% of the surveyed respondents agreed that money is the primary cause, followed by annoying habits. Arguments over money can predict both relationship satisfaction and the probability of divorce. In contrast, keeping joint accounts can prove to be healthier for a couple’s relationship, according to a study by Indiana University. 

Your feelings are valid, but your logic is not

Reddit readers laid out different arguments and viewpoints for the woman to assess the situation as a whole. Many reflected that it isn’t wise for her to negotiate the household expenses with the sacrifices she made in the relationship; that her feelings are valid, but not entirely logical. u/jamicam suggested, “Perhaps an appointment with an attorney or a financial planner? Since you both own property and have a child together, you will want to be sure you make sound financial decisions together.” u/Patient-Trick9947 said, “You wouldn’t be paying rent if you lived in your own apartment. It’s more expensive to live with this man than to live alone?”

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