7 months after escaping a toxic ex, she searched for 'evidence' in his voice recordings. Her cat's instant reaction was proof enough

Trigger Warning: This article contains themes of domestic violence and abuse that some readers may find distressing

For a woman who has been gaslit by her partner, the line between fiction and reality blurs, and she is left feeling disorientated. Living at all times like a tempest in a teacup, what she longs for the most is something that will ground and concentrate her energies, something that will validate her suffering. For Dr. Ruth (@HealingbytheNumbers), this validation didn’t come from a person or a support group but rather from her beloved cat Leo. While she was listening to a recording of her ex-husband, her cat’s reaction affirmed that her instincts and feelings had been correct all along. This June 23, 2026, episode is a part of her new series “Don’t Go Back,” about domestic violence and psychological abuse.

Cocktail of emotions to process

Even several weeks after Dr. Ruth made an escape plan and fled from her husband’s house, she wasn’t sure whether her feelings were telling her the truth. She had moved into a new apartment and was still processing the emotional turmoil that made her feel miserable, a cocktail of anger, fear, guilt, and grief. Although she had left him physically, she was unable to detach herself psychologically. She constantly missed him. One night, when she couldn’t resist the pull of her trauma bond, she opened her phone and started scrolling through his pictures, videos, and recordings, which she started making after her ex picked up a knife during an argument.

Breakthrough in healing

Dr. Ruth stumbled upon a recording from a moment when she and her then-husband were engaged in a heated argument. Even though he hadn’t picked up a knife or hit anything, there was an insane amount of gaslighting and a heavy tinge of anger in his voice. She had listened to it two times before, but this time, it was a sobering experience, as she described it. The previous time, she wasn’t sure whether there was anything wrong with her ex’s behavior, but thanks to her cat, the third time, her shell broke, and her truth was validated.

Cats can feel, too

While she played the recording, Leo responded with fright. At night, when she went to bed, the cat crouched next to her head, tense and rigid, as if trying to guard her from somebody who could enter the room. Every time she looked at him, tears welled up in her eyes. The incident reminded her how her ex didn’t just abuse her but also her cat. Leo was picked up by her neck and thrown, sometimes kicked in the body. Ruth, who had been unstoppable for the past seven to eight months, now felt herself broken. All the feelings she had shoved into a compartment of her mind now came flooding out at her, and she didn’t know how to be herself anymore, let alone manage her day-to-day life.

Violation of a human's 'being'

According to the World Health Organization, about 1 in 3 (31.6%) of women across the world (840 million) have been subjected to physical or sexual Intimate Partner Violence (IPV). A study stated that IPV is considered a “human rights violation” and a “public health issue” throughout the world. Another study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine surveyed 6790 women, and 28.9% reported experiencing physical, sexual, or psychological IPV from their intimate partners. Women, the researchers said, are more likely to experience IPV than men. IPV’s victims cause women to go through phases of poor health, depressive symptoms, substance abuse, and chronic diseases.

Invisible scars

Viewers empathized with Dr. Ruth and shared positive, reassuring, and helpful remarks to support her through the recovery. @IsaForti-Lynch explained, “Brains can’t process trauma during the trauma; brains need to wait until they feel safe again and then all hell breaks loose. It makes sense, and it’s infuriating.” @jamesgilbert124 wrote, “That awkward moment when you think you're 'healed enough," but your amygdala has receipts.”

If you are being subjected to domestic abuse or know of anyone else who is, please visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline website, call 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522.

You can follow Dr. Ruth (@HealingbytheNumbers) on YouTube for more videos on domestic violence and emotional abuse. 

More on Scoop Upworthy

Miss Kansas bravely calls out her abuser in the audience after her grand pageant win

Woman overcomes abuse and finds 9 long-lost sisters to have an emotional reunion after 43 years

Women's group shares hand signal for domestic abuse victims to quietly ask someone for help