Her groom insulted her hair and makeup during their first look — she brushed it aside, until his wedding vows made things worse
The woman tried her best to stop her friend from staying with the man, but he made his wife cut off all contact, which made things worse
Trigger Warning: This article contains themes of abuse that some readers may find distressing.
Intimate relationships are the stewing pot for abuse. Since the partners tend to put their guard down and cross their boundaries, these relationships become a playground for perpetrators to execute manipulative and violent tactics. In such cases, it becomes harrowing for the victim as they are left confused about whether to stay or leave. In an October 31, 2022, Reddit post, a woman (u/affablysurreal) detailed the abusive relationship her friend got involved in. This friend got married to a groom who treated her like a crappy doormat while she failed to stand up for herself and recognize his real nature.
Groomzilla insists that the wedding weekend is "about" him and his friends, insults bride during first look, and more...
by u/affablysurreal in weddingshaming
Entitled to dominance
The woman described her friend’s groom as “emotionally abusive." She laid out a list of things that affirmed her instinct that he was not right for her friend, the soon-to-be bride. It began even before the wedding. The groom demanded that he not stand at the other end of the aisle waiting for the bride, and she would rather have to walk it alone and wait for him there while he made a grand entrance. At last, it was decided that they would walk down the aisle together.
The groom criticized and shamed every little thing she did, every choice she made, and everything she was. He declared that the wedding weekend was about the boys while she hung around crying because he didn’t like her nails. He did not take part in any dance rehearsals. During the ceremony, he criticized her hair and makeup to the point that the bride had to hold back tears during photography.
He was absent most of the time, except when the photographer asked them to be together. Even more so, he shamed the bride for reading vows from her phone while he recited some words from his memory, dismissing the fact that they were so sweet. "Turns out he wasn't very good at memorizing whatever he was going to say," the author wrote.
When criticism goes way too far
At the end of the vow ceremony, the groom made a sarcastic comment, saying how he appreciated the bride for trying to match his good looks and energy. Even the speeches the bridesmaids made were humiliating and disparaging to the bride. When the time came for the dance and the bride changed the playlist, he screamed at her for her choices.
2.5 years later, the friend updated that her friend had a baby, but she hadn’t been in touch with her because her husband had asked her to cut all contact. And although the woman believes that she should stick by her friend in this abusive situation, she can’t do much unless her friend learns to empower herself. But according to a comment, she has told the now-married friend that she will be there for her whenever she’s ready to leave the destructive relationship, no matter how many years later.
Intervention helps
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), several factors predict whether a woman will enter an abusive relationship, including low levels of education, a history of child abuse, mental health conditions, and witnessing violence in the family. WHO’s 2026 statistics suggest that nearly one in three (32%) women have been subjected to physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner. This figure has remained constant for the last 20 years. Another survey of 132 women, published in Public Health Reports, indicates that 44% of the women successfully exit the abusive relationship. 55% received a domestic violence intervention, while 37% continued to live with abusive partners.
Heartbreaking and frustrating all at once
![Image Source: Reddit | u/[deleted]](https://pisco-bucket.s3.amazonaws.com/0ecdd407-35a8-420a-a4c9-5b48fbed32fc.png)
In this case, Reddit readers expressed concern and fear for the woman in the abusive relationship, suggesting that her friend be by her side whenever she needs her. u/Logicalvariation741 said, “You tell her you are there, day or night, to help her leave. It may take several tries and a long time, but she needs to know you are there. Because he will isolate her from you.” u/Agreeable-Concern829 commented, “This is just heartbreaking and frustrating all in one."
If you are being subjected to domestic abuse or know of anyone else who is, please visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline website, call 1-800-799-7233, or text LOVEIS to 22522.
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