Psychotherapist forgetting her dad’s voice finds a 30-year-old VHS tape. She wasn’t ready to hear him again
When she played it, his tender voice and his big laugh came alive after all these years
Memories don’t stay the way you felt them. Over time, they fade into fragments that you can recall, but never fully relive. Anne Boulton (@anne _boulton), a writer, artist, and psychotherapist, experienced that loss for years after her father passed away, with no way of hearing his voice again. That changed when her sister Erin found an old cassette tape recorded 30 years ago. When she played it, his tender voice and his big laugh came alive after all these years, as she described to Newsweek. She shared the footage on her Instagram on March 11.
Boulton shared that she was just 18 when her dad passed away at 54 due to liver disease caused by alcoholism. They had a complicated relationship, but once he was gone, Boulton couldn’t help but feel the longing to hear his voice. She had lost all hope because it was impossible to hear the voice of someone who was long gone. However, one day, as her sister, Erin, was rummaging through the house, clearing old stuff, her attention fell upon a computer drive. Initially recorded on an old VHS tape, the memories were transferred onto a computer drive. Inside the drive were VHS tapes with some video clips of their dad, long forgotten in memory.
The tape recorded an instance where their dad was playing with Stephen, Erin’s oldest son, and Boulton’s nephew. The footage shows her dad cradling the baby in his arms, pecking a kiss on his forehead. A woman, likely Erin, is standing by his side, and both of them are cracking dad jokes while pampering the little one. “I haven’t heard his voice in 30 years. What a treasure,” Boulton exclaimed.
Boulton's dad, she said, had a “big heart.” He was someone who cared deeply for others. On Sundays, when her mom was at church, he would buy bread from a local bakery, hit the farmer’s market to buy tomatoes, and spend the rest of the day visiting friends and delivering goods. She told Newsweek that she has watched the video probably 20 times. She has watched it alone and with her brother and sister. While they watched, they cried and laughed and cried again. “It was very healing for us,” she said.
Viewers were also emotional watching the footage. “Oh Anne. What a voice he had. Rumble in the jungle!!!! A gift of memory from beyond! I bet he’ll come to visit you in a sweet dream!" described @natalie_tissot. @caterinayvr said, “You have his voice ‘live’ by your side whenever you want to hear it!”
The unexpected discovery of this tape enabled her to relive at least his voice, which is why she also encourages people to share their vulnerable moments and loving memories. “I think sharing vulnerable and lovely moments has a healing effect on the collective, and we need more ‘balm for the soul’ in our world,” she said, “People should remember that love is the thread that binds us all."
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