She felt judged for oversharing her grief until a stranger said the most profound thing to her

A woman recently shared how one meeting with a stranger at a bar changed her perception of sharing grief. After feeling dismissed by people close to her, she found that a brief, honest exchange with someone she had never met left her with "the most profound thing [she] have ever heard." Lauren Nicole, who posts on Instagram as @laurenjnicole, shared the moment publicly. She explained that she had been struggling with the feeling that she was burdening others by speaking about her loss too often.

During a conversation about mental health with the stranger at a bar, she admitted, "I just feel like all of my friends are annoyed with me because all I talk about lately is my loss." That confession might have ended there, but the stranger set down his drink and responded with something that stopped her cold. "He said, 'Talk about it if it keeps you here,'" she recalled. The brief exchange "hit [her] right in the chest." "I literally had goosebumps. I didn't even know what to say back," she added. She reflected on his statement, saying, "There's no such thing as talking about mental health too much, talking about your struggles too much, talking about your loss, your grief too much."

"If that is what is keeping you here, if that is what is helping you heal, if that is what is getting you through the damn day. You should talk about it. Talk about it today." She ended her post with a truth many people know too well: "I never thought I would hear the thing I needed most from a stranger I just met, but life works in funny ways." That feeling of being deeply seen by someone you’ve only just met may not be so rare after all. In 2021, a laboratory study involving 65 pairs of strangers found that when people engaged in cooperative tasks together, like tying knots, their physiological signals, such as heart-rate variability, began to synchronize. Even without a prior connection, their bodies responded in unison.

Her story resonated with viewers across Instagram, who echoed back the message with warmth and honesty. @steelecruz_ wrote, "Girl, talk about it. God sent you that angel in the bar as a reminder." Another user, @jenniferann.hall19752021, said, "That was good advice he gave you, though. Thank you for sharing this." @heyjudees added, "That stranger is healing us all collectively as we watch this. Thank you, stranger." Others reflected on their own experience of being dismissed in grief. @audaciousfool shared, "Isn’t it so sad how strangers can be nicer to us about our grief than our ‘closest’ friends? (They’re no longer my friends)."

@batool.r.hasan offered a note of connection, "What if I tell you that you are the stranger that I’ve just come across by accident and what you said hit right in my chest!" @the.shelly.summers shared, "Grief is not linear. It's fluid. And you can be feeling two or three of the same emotions at the same time. I get it. Your grief is yours. It has no timetable. And those who don't understand will never understand. But that's ok. Know that you aren't alone."

You can follow Lauren Nicole Jankowski (@laurenjnicole) on Instagram for more mental health content.