25 sexual assault survivors share why they didn't report and we're all to blame for silencing them
In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, many on Twitter decided to share why they didn't report their sexual assaults.
No matter how far we say we've come as a society, we will never be able to live down the truth that we've miserably failed those who've survived sexual assault. Even today, in this post #MeToo era, survivors who attempt to speak out about the abusers are shot down by classic victim-shaming tactics or President Donal Trump's favorite: Why didn't you speak up earlier? In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, many on Twitter decided to share why they didn't report their sexual assaults and their stories paint a rather grim picture of our so-called modern world.
it’s a topic that’s NEEDS to be discussed , hope this movement sheds light on everyone’s horrific situations and they find peace within themselves . I STAND WITH SURVIVORS ❤️ #WhyIDidntReport pic.twitter.com/PjQo7OPxVY
— laurieyonaa (@laurieyonaa) April 9, 2020
Here are some of them:
1.
#WhyIDidntReport reporting made it seem real. and i didn’t want it to be real.
— baby adores leigh ♡ (@loutanic) April 9, 2020
2.
#WhyIDidntReport we weren’t sober and i convinced myself i had said yes. it wasn’t until weeks later i called him out and instead of denying it, he said “thanks for not reporting me” and an apology. that text still grosses me out more than the actual assault
— ray gun ☀️ (@Reagan_goodwin2) April 9, 2020
3.
#WhyIDidntReport
— nick anderson (@WRXNickA) April 9, 2020
I thought my self-awareness protected me. I thought it didn’t affect me and that I was in charge of my emotions.
I didn’t know it would drive an emotional wedge between love & sex and make me question my sexuality.
I didn’t want to ruin her career.
4.
#WhyIDidntReport Fear, not sure how, didn’t want the stigma. I stand with those who stand alone. pic.twitter.com/Fzb0kRTfUc
— Brittany DeRosa 🏳️🌈 (@MollysMommy42) April 9, 2020
5.
#WhyIDidntReport I was 5, and I didn’t have the vocabulary to articulate what was happening to me. Maybe that’s why I’m a writer. I would like to say that I’ve finally found the words, but the truth is I’m still searching for them, even though it hurts like hell.
— A. D. Conner (@AdConner31) April 9, 2020
6.
#WhyIDidntReport
— ⋆ m a d i ⋆ (@maditelschow) April 9, 2020
I drank. I got in his car. I entered his apartment.
I thought that, bc some of the decisions made were mine, I bore the entirety of the blame. I never reported because I saw the difficulty of the case I would be facing.
& it was already difficult enough.
7.
#WhyIDidntReport I was 6 and terrified that my family would be mad bc he always told me they would be. I felt like I was betraying them. Me, the 6 year old paralyzed by fear, betraying them, and not the trusting adult they considered a friend.
— 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬 💫 (@yikesLex) April 9, 2020
8.
#WhyIDidntReport I was drunk and I let him come home with me; I willingly allowed him into my space. I didn’t realize what happened to me until a few days later. I felt like it was my fault and I didn’t want to “ruin his life”. I blame myself for not saving the girl after me.
— sidney! (@sidneyldeese) April 9, 2020
9.
#WhyIDidntReport because some of my own friends didn’t believe me. because i had said yes to this person before so it didn’t count, right? because i knew how reporting it would go. i would sound like i just wanted attention. start believing people.
— em (@sparesushi) April 8, 2020
10.
#WhyIDidntReport bc I was at a party I had a single drink and I wore short shorts and I knew it would all be held against me and I’d be told it was MY fault
— yovi (@caged__elephant) April 8, 2020
11.
#WhyIDidntReport . Forgetting is difficult and remembering is worse BUT I will not be silent. #NeverAgain pic.twitter.com/3abnAz6bVH
— lil deebo (@obxdd) April 9, 2020
12.
#WhyIDidntReport
— zach ☼ (@zachydg_) April 8, 2020
because it was my uncle and with so many family issues happening at the time, i felt i would be causing more
13.
#WhyIDidntReport
— deyc (@daissyduke) April 8, 2020
I felt guilty.
I had no evidence.
All of it happened when I was in elementary and didn't realize the severity of my abuse until I was sexually active.
I was abused by 2 married men (one of them was my uncle) and I didn't want to destroy their marriages.
14.
#WhyIDidntReport
— Avery Sarah (@AverySarah18) April 8, 2020
I was 15. It was a morning before school, I figured it was my fault because I went to his house alone. He was my boyfriend. We were “supposed” to do that so “why did I say no?”
15.
#WhyIDidntReport
— Franchesca (@fremlo_) April 9, 2020
because I knew him. because I was scared. still am. It is hard enough validating to myself that my experience was real, I can’t handle the burden of trying to prove it to people inclined not to believe me, of people trying to gaslight me.
16.
#WhyIDidntReport I was 6 or 7 and he would lock the door behind him. My older sister was right next door when it would happened. I was always so scared my parents would be mad at me for that happening to me. I finally told my mom, I believe each and every one of you ❤️
— Vic ✨ (@vicky_0021) April 9, 2020
17.
#WhyIDidntReport
— stay home (@J0RDANT0MEI) April 9, 2020
I was 15 and i went to his house willingly... i tried to convince myself it was consensual bc i was a virgin. I developed a drug addiction to xanax to cope. No one wouldve believed a 15 yr old addict.
My silence was valid
18.
#WhyIDidntReport i was 14, scared, and didn’t think someone i called my best friend could hurt me like that. especially when he said all he wanted to do was “fix” me
— alex (@notafenton) April 8, 2020
19.
I was 15 and didn't realize I had been raped. Real rapes were when women got a gun pointed to their head and beat up. My rape wasn't violent enough. So therefore, my rape wasn't a "real" rape. Plus I had an alcoholic mom. Who would I have told? #WhyIDidntReport
— Bernie's #1 fan 🌹🌻 (@AmTheLastUnicrn) April 9, 2020
20.
#WhyIDidntReport I was 6 yrs old, my mother needed drugs, I became an commodity. Women are rarely believed, who would ever believe me? I was just a troubled kid that was not only a rape baby but now a victim, that no one cared about.
— Lord James of F♤ckery (@House0fHavoc13) April 9, 2020
21.
#WhyIDidntReport
— raven (@sIeepyraven) April 8, 2020
bc i was a child and he was a family member who was babysitting me. bc his sister found out and did nothing to stop it from occurring again & again. bc he would message me as if to check if i remembered. bc my family still posts pictures of them together
22.
#WhyIDidntReport
— Dunn with u (@lauradunnblogs) April 7, 2020
b/c how do you report someone whose name you don’t even know? who was a complete stranger, yet still felt entitled enough to my body to violate it? who came into my home, ripped my clothes off, mutilated me, & then left without saying a word? who’d believe her?
23.
#WhyIDidntReport
— ya no quiero que llores (@minerva_garciaa) April 8, 2020
Bc he was my mom’s boyfriend.
Bc my friends left me at his apt even tho I was drunk. they thought that I wanted to. He continued to snap me until I had the courage to block him.
Bc my friend was in the living room and the next day she said that I wanted it.
24.
I experienced sexual abuse multiple times. At first I told and not much (or nothing) happened. The behavior was excused, I was told to forgive, I was made to fear hurting THEM, etc. Each time took more of my voice away until I didn’t bother to use it anymore. #WhyIDidntReport
— Parisa Fitz-Henley (@ParisaFH) April 9, 2020
25.
#WhyIDidntReport because I was a Black gay man, brutally raped by another Black gay man while living in Virginia. I didn't report because who was going to believe me? Who was going to take my care seriously? I was embarrased & I was living in a conservative state at that time.
— 👑 Black Professor 👑 (@WonderKing82) April 9, 2020
Share on Facebook
