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'Sex And The City's' popular 'Cab Light Theory' is actually some really interesting dating advice

While the concept itself is now decades old, it is striking a chord with those in the dating pool even today.

'Sex And The City's' popular 'Cab Light Theory' is actually some really interesting dating advice
Cover Image Source: TikTok | @the_d_spot

The quest to find a good partner is often one that is confusing, tiring and sometimes, scarring. Despite there being countless fish in the sea—so to speak—finding the one you are most compatible with is quite challenging. Moreover, finding your supposed "soul mate" is only half the job. It is also about timing. You need to meet them at a time when they too are looking to build a life with a suitable companion. 

An episode of the iconic "Sex And The City" series that aired 20 years ago addresses this subject with an interesting "cab light theory." While the concept itself is now decades old, it is striking a chord with those in the dating pool even today.



 

In the episode, Miranda Hobbes (played by actress Cynthia Nixon) suggests that for men, finding someone to settle down with is all about timing rather than commitment. "Men are like cabs: when they're available, their light goes on," she explains. "They wake up one day and they decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up — boom! That's the woman they marry. It's not fate. It's dumb luck." But does this pseudo-philosophy hold any truth to it? Dana Kuritzkes—who goes as @the_d_spot on TikTok—shares how this advice was passed on to her by her mom and how it turned out to be the best advice she ever received.

Image Source: TikTok | @the_d_spot
Image Source: TikTok | @the_d_spot


 

Kuritzkes explains in her video: "Men are like cabs. You can't get into a cab if the light isn't on. What happens if you get into a cab when the light is not on? You're going to waste your time and money. You're going to be driving around in circles. What this means is if you need a guy and he's just not ready, that's it. He's just not ready. It doesn't matter who you are."

She adds that the man not being available for a long-term committed relationship with someone is nothing personal. "It's basically a way of saying that timing is everything," states Kuritzkes.

Image Source: TikTok | @the_d_spot
Image Source: TikTok | @the_d_spot

While the "cab light theory" brings down complex beings to a generalized rule and oversimplification, it does hold true to a certain degree for all genders. It makes one feel liberated enough to understand that when someone is showing they are unavailable, you do not have to take it personally. Instead, it would be a better use of your time and energy to move on and maybe even find someone who is, in fact, open to a relationship. 



 

Some viewers agreed with the theory and a few others mocked the oversimplification of it. "So just 'don't force something with someone who isn't ready'... Why does everything have to be a 'theory?' This is so simple," commented @pasengo. "Men are like cabs. Don't chase them because there are so many and 100% there's another one coming soon," joked @phangorl. It's like saying, "Girls are like buses, you miss one, you'll catch another," added @ydc780.

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