Server's hilarious 'punishment' for customers who seat themselves is genius: 'Get up'

There is a form of etiquette that customers need to follow when they go to restaurants. Though they are to be treated well, coordinated and respectful behavior is expected from them. A server named Dylan Carlino—who goes by @dylanpcarlino on TikTok—shared that when customers refuse to follow basic decorum, they have a vibrantly hilarious way to “punish” them. Titling it as one of their favorite duties on the job, Carlino revealed that they respond to ignorant customers with the calmest yet most epic reaction. “The favorite part of my job is punishing people for poor restaurant behavior,” they said.

The server went on to share a prime example of customers who walk into restaurants and carelessly seat themselves without waiting for guidance or instructions. “People who come and sit in my section without talking to anybody, I’ll just let them sit there,” Carlino mentioned. They added that such people are hysterically forced to wait for 20 minutes or over till they get agitated. “I let them sit until they go, ‘Excuse me, nobody’s helped us,’” Carlino depicted. Expecting the statement from the customers, the server has a shrewd response ready. They say, “Nobody’s helped you? What are you talking about? There are dirty plates on the table, you guys already ate.”

The sarcastic response from the server causes them to own up to their reckless behavior and reveal the plates aren’t theirs and they just came and sat themselves despite a host being on duty. “These plates aren’t yours? Wait, did you guys come in and seat yourselves and not talk to anybody?” Carlino sarcastically asks. They then unapologetically yet in a mocking sympathy reveal, “That’s not how restaurants work.” The server then hilariously got them up saying, “Get up. We have to go talk to the host, there’s a 30-minute wait.”

Carlino amusingly added that though their job title reads, “Server,” they love the fact that they play the role of a “judge, jury and executioner,” while giving customers a response to their bizarre behavior. “Get up, the table is too big for you anyway,” he concluded. People were in splits after listening to Carlino’s genius response and acting for customers who deserve the same. Fellow waiters and servers also pitched in to reveal how dramatic and annoying it can be when customers are too proud to follow simple etiquette. @olddeadgrass added another response for such customers saying, “I can’t believe the host sat you at a dirty table with no menus wow!”

@luna_bruja911 added, “My favorite is pretending to be outraged that the host sat them at dirty tables till they reveal they sat there themselves.”@ammyyydeeee pitched her iconic method, “I used to go buss the table and say, ‘Thank you for coming in,’ and walk away…priceless.” @ann.t.tode hilariously suggested, “I always loudly praise the good table next to the bad table and offer them a free appetizer so the bad table can see.” @8megatron36 remarked, “I love it when they complain about dirty dishes, no menus or cutlery. I always respond with, ‘So what have we learned about seating ourselves at a dirty table?’” @itskyratime added, “As a hostess, thank you, we love you.”

You can follow Dylan Carlino (@dylanpcarlino) on TikTok for more content on humor and lifestyle.