Selena’s words to Benny Blanco after he came home exhausted reveal why true love isn't always 50-50

Relationships are often described as a 50-50 partnership, where responsibilities are evenly divided, and effort is shared equally, but in reality, that balance rarely looks the same every day. Music producer Benny Blanco recently shared an incident from his relationship with wife, Selena Gomez, that reflects a similar idea. In an interview with "Chef’s Table: Talks," also shared by @spotifypodcasts on Instagram, Blanco recalled coming home exhausted one evening, knowing there were still small tasks left to handle before the day could end. What Gomez said in that moment, he explained, changed how he thinks about partnership.

He said the night itself was unremarkable on the surface. "I was exhausted," he said. Joining the podcast right after a big move, Blanco mentioned how he'd been moving boxes, attending his best friend's wedding, juggling work, and barely sleeping. By the time he got home some days, even routine tasks felt overwhelming. "At nighttime, you just have to do all the stuff. You've got to put the dogs away. You've got to fill up the glasses of water. You've got to lock that door." He paused before explaining, "Usually I do all that stuff," he said. "And I was like, I'm exhausted. She was just like, 'I got you.'" 

He described how she simply handled everything without turning it into a discussion or making it feel like a favor being counted. "It was just like everything," he said. "It just feels so good to come home and know the other person is trying to make your life easier." Although it was nothing extraordinary, it was that routine care where a partner showed up exactly when it was needed. This shows how relationship dynamics change constantly depending on who has more capacity at any given time. Some days, one person carries more, while other days, the roles reverse. The point, he suggested, is not strict balance but mutual awareness. "There’s like no butting heads like that," he said, acknowledging that disagreements happen, but not over keeping score.

This kind of responsiveness tends to matter more than strict balance. A 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology examined how perceived partner responsiveness affects relationship quality. Researchers analyzed data from romantic couples using surveys that measured how strongly individuals felt their partners understood, valued, and supported them during everyday interactions and stressful situations. The study compared these perceptions with reported levels of relationship satisfaction, emotional intimacy, and personal well-being. Results showed that people who consistently perceived their partners as responsive reported stronger emotional closeness and higher relationship satisfaction over time. It concluded that responsiveness in ordinary daily moments plays a central role in maintaining stable, satisfying relationships.

He also spoke candidly about anxiety and how it has shaped him. "My anxiety is next level," he admitted, explaining how obsessive tendencies sometimes spill into daily routines. At the same time, he said those traits can help him hyperfocus in the studio. When asked how he handles criticism, especially given his engagement to one of the most recognizable artists in the world, he was direct. "I don’t read any comments," he said. "I don’t need either one." For him, approval from strangers is less important than showing up fully for the people he loves. "I’m not afraid to just fully fall head over heels," he said, adding that he approaches friendships the same way.

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