School counselor explains the sudden changes in kids' behavior when they reach third grade

Being a parent involves dealing with absolutely precious angel-like babies who could overnight turn into highly opinionated, stubborn, moody little humans. Around third grade is when you might unexpectedly face this change in behavior of your child. This change could be difficult to deal with and overwhelm you as a parent or as a teacher. One school counselor took it upon himself to provide a better understanding of such a change in third graders. Zack Kasabo, a TikTok user with a Master's degree in school counseling (PK-12) and a Bachelor's degree in psychology, delved into the details of this situation. In a video that struck a chord with many parents, he begins by saying, "I'm Zach and this is what's going on with your third grader." 

"Towards the middle to the end of third grade, most kids have their first big developmental shift where they start to care more about the opinions of their peers than of their parents and adults. This is completely normal and marks the start of their journey towards independence," he explains. He implies that while this change may be difficult for parents to accept, it is an important step toward children gaining a sense of maturity. He then describes two major differences that a parent may notice in their third-grade child as they work through these developmental changes.

"They’ll start to become more verbal when they are defiant as they try to form logical arguments. With the quick change in their brain, they are now at the beginning stages of being able to reason better. However, their attempt to be logical can be very crude sense they’re nowhere near their brain's full capacity to think logically and abstractly. You can expect them to try to negotiate more with their words, although they have no perception that their perspective is usually shortsighted," he wrote in the Instagram post caption of the clip.

His advice to parents who are struggling with this new shift in brain activity is to stimulate it. He explained, "A practical solution for dealing with this is to incorporate more questions when they show defiance instead of giving all demands. For example, instead of saying 'don't do that' you could say 'How come you did that?' Giving questions will let them feel more independent as they're able to come to their own conclusions."

The second and more heartbreaking change is that a third-grader may refrain from disclosing every detail of their life. "They'll also start to become more private Instead of sharing everything with you like they used to," he shared. "A practical solution for this is to be indirect by asking about their friends. When you find out about their friends, you’ll find out about them."

Many parents and teachers could relate to the insightful video. "I noticed a shift and I kept telling my husband something was up. Thanks for letting me know I am not crazy or over-analyzing him," commented @issygonzo_. "I used to substitute teach and when I was with third graders they reminded me of kindergartners with a dash of hormones," shared @Goldenchildhealing613. If you also notice these changes in a child's behavior. Fret not, for it simply means they are growing.