20 years after losing his mom, he found her penultimate poem — written just for him

Trigger Warning: This article mentions suicide, which some readers may find distressing.

Samuel Johnson, best known for his performance in the television series "The Secret Life of Us," had a difficult childhood, losing his mother at only 3 years of age. His mom died by suicide, and his father's silence left him with little to no information about her. However, 20 years after his mother's death, the actor stumbled upon a poem she had written, and that finally made him feel her love. In an interview with ABC News (@abcnews_au), Johnson shared the heartfelt incident, leaving everyone on the internet teary-eyed.

"I was operating on very scant information, so my mother was basically a ghost, and I couldn't find out much about her," Johnson said, explaining how he had known nothing about his mom, except that she was a poet. At 20, the actor found hundreds of his mom's handwritten poems in his father's filing cabinet, and he couldn't resist reading them. "The penultimate poem was addressed to me," Johnson recalled.

His mother had written the poem only a few months before she died by suicide, and perhaps she wanted her son to read it. "It took me 20 years, but I found it," the actor said. "All the seas of joy rise to sing for you, boy. Surge and swell and roar. All the seas of joy sound wonderfully near since you've been here," Johnson got emotional as he recited the final verse. Johnson was thrilled, not only because he realized the love his mom had for him, but also because he finally knew something more substantial about her.

"She is a human now; she's a person," he said, explaining how the poem changed his perspective about his mother. "I feel like I had a mum that really loved me," Johnson added. People who have lost loved ones to suicide long for answers they might never get. For instance, a study in Queensland, Australia, found that parents who had lost their kids to suicide were still trying to comprehend why it happened. Similarly, Johnson had been unknown to the love his mom felt for him until he read her poem.

Reacting to Sam's story, @jodienolan1 said, "Aww, Sam! All of Australia loves you, sweet boy. As a mommy, I just want to give you a big hug and say thank you for everything you are and everything you've done for your sis, and I bet you've made your mom proud!" Another user, @the_boombahs, confessed, "As a mum, I can assure you, Sam, she loved you beyond comprehension. Her love for you reached the ends of the universe and back."

Echoing the sentiments, @embuzz pointed out, "Oh, that's so precious! He looks so much like her! Isn't it strange that someone whom we remember so much can be a stranger to us? I'm glad he found her poems and feels closer to her and knows her now. I hope it's brought some peace and comfort. We all have that inner child that needs to be healed and loved. Kudos to Sam for heeding the call and finding his roots. I hope it's healed his heart."

A user who goes by @longblackwithfroth on Instagram commented, "She loved you, trust that. She must have been so sad, as there is no way she would have wanted to leave you. But I am sure she has been loving and looking after you from above. She made you the special, sensitive person you are. Hold her love close always."

If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is, please contact 'The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline' at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)