Ricky Gervais roasts Hollywood at the Golden Globes: 'You know nothing about the real world'

The 2020 awards season is upon us, folks, and you know what that means. It's time to reduce talented actresses walking down red carpets to a meaningless "who are you wearing?" Moreover, of course, let's not forget about all the actors and directors of color we've got to snub of well-deserved accolades (if they're nominated at all, that is). If you, like many of us, are disillusioned by awards shows and why America tunes in to watch a bunch of privileged folks gather around and talk about how rich they are, you're not alone. Comedian Ricky Gervais is right by your side. Now in his fifth time hosting the Golden Globes, he put all of Hollywood on blast, forcing high-profile stars to sit in their overpriced gowns or tuxedos and marinate in their privilege.

He began his opening monologue by acknowledging how ridiculous it was that he was hosting for the fifth time. "You'll be pleased to know this is the last time I'm hosting these awards, so I don't care anymore," Gervais stated to an already-laughing crowd. "I'm joking, I never did. NBC clearly [doesn't] care either — fifth time. I mean, Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars for some offensive tweets — Hello? Lucky for me, the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English and they've no idea what Twitter is, so I got offered this gig by fax. Let's go out with a bang, let's have a laugh at your expense. Remember, they're just jokes. We're all gonna die soon and there's no sequel, so remember that." Amen to that.

But that's when things got really heated. From Felicity Huffman to the Catholic church and all the Hollywood celebrities in between, he spared absolutely no one. The comedian said sarcastically, "But you all look lovely all dolled up. You came here in your limos. I came here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. No, shush. It's her daughter I feel sorry for. OK? That must be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to her. And her dad was in Wild Hogs." Then, he made mention of a particular trend we've all seen in Hollywood lately. "Lots of big celebrities here tonight. Legends. Icons. This table alone — Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro... Baby Yoda. Oh, that's Joe Pesci, sorry. I love you man. Don't have me whacked. But tonight isn't just about the people in front of the camera. In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world. People from every background. They all have one thing in common: They're all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He's coming for ya. Talking of all you perverts, it was a big year for pedophile movies. Surviving R. Kelly, Leaving Neverland, Two Popes."

Gervais also made note of the systemic racism that is so prevalent in the industry. He said, "Many talented people of color were snubbed in major categories. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about that. Hollywood Foreign Press are all very racist... We were going to do an In Memoriam this year, but when I saw the list of people who died, it wasn't diverse enough. No, it was mostly white people and I thought, nah, not on my watch. Maybe next year. Let's see what happens." But the biggest and most impactful zinger came right at the very end when he gave everyone in the audience at the Beverly Hilton Hotel a huge privilege check. "If you do win an award tonight, don't use it as a platform to make a political speech," Gervais urged. "You're in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent, and your God, and f*ck off, OK? It's already three hours long. Right, let's do the first award." All we can say is, what a brilliant, phenomenal start to the awards season.