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Redditor asks: 'If someone borrowed your body, what "jiggle the handle" tips would they need?'

In a now-viral Reddit thread, users shared the "quirks" they have to deal with on a daily basis when it comes to their bodies.

Redditor asks: 'If someone borrowed your body, what "jiggle the handle" tips would they need?'
Image Source: (Top) Oleg Breslavtsev / Getty Images (Bottom) WeeMadCanuck / Reddit

As we grow older, we begin to recognize that our bodies have little "quirks" that not all humans share. Just like the idiosyncracies our homes have--faulty wiring, awkward water pressure, confusing locks and handles--our bodies develop their own too. Taking to the Reddit forum AskReddit, one user wondered what "jiggle the handle" tips we would have to give someone if they happened to borrow our bodies for a month. From the more expected answers about how their bodies had essentially withered owing to wear and tear, to more unique ones about living life with certain disabilities or just "wonky" body parts, Reddit users delivered.

One Reddit user commented, "If you squat too long to look at something you WILL feel like you’re going to faint... And then you will. Plan accordingly." Another wrote, "At least three times a week, get someone to slap your left butt cheek as hard as possible to alleviate pain and nerve issues in the leg. Thank God I'm married and [do not have] to ask random people on the street for help." This individual was diagnosed with sciatica, which refers to the pain that radiates along the path of the sciatic nerve (it branches from one's lower back through their hips and buttocks and down each leg, typically only affecting one side of the body).



 

"Naps aren't worth the risk if you have other sh*t to do today," one person wrote. "[There is a] fifty-fifty shot you'll wake up feeling like a Norse god with lightning shooting from your hands, or feeling like your head is filled with mud and your body has turned into Gumby." Many of us probably relate to this one. One user, on the other hand, had very specific quirks: "Tendons for the left thumb are loose. If it pops out and gets stuck in the middle of your hand, just push it back into place. Left ankle is jacked, go easy on it, I'm trying to baby it along for at least another 30 years. On the upside, if you get into an argument with the wife, you can just sleep on the couch, or the floor, or really on anything. This body sleeps like a champ. Stay away from fish and penicillin. If you get the clap from a carp then you are double f*cked."

Meanwhile, others offered funny but equally relatable tips: "Don't stand up quickly or everything will be black," for instance, or, "Don't panic, you're a grower." Others added some of the consequences that come with old age. "You’ll get randomly sore on your sides, just ignore it, it goes away on its own and the doctors have said it’s nothing," a Redditor stated. One user highlighted, "So, sneezing is going to be a gamble. Will you clear your nose and feel relief? Or will you throw your back out for 2 weeks? Your move. Choose wisely." He later added, "Yes, ladies and other possessors of female equipment. There is a definite risk of accidental urination. My body in particular is male, so this would be less of a risk factor." Evidently, all of us have strange little eccentricities we should not be ashamed of.

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