Communication expert made Steven Bartlett hold a red string. It changed how he saw his phone forever
As he drifted his focus to his phone, the red string representing 'connection' began to loosen.
Jefferson Fisher, a communication coach, appeared on Steven Bartlett's podcast, The Diary of a CEO (@thediaryofaceopodcast), and reshaped his perception of undivided attention forever. All he did was speak to Bartlett while both held onto a red string. As the host continued talking, Fisher purposely turned to his phone — and in that moment, Bartlett grasped the profound truth of 'presence.' Bartlett, also an entrepreneur and investor, posted the video on February 18.
Fisher performed a live experiment on the podcast. He held one end of a red string and gave the other end to Bartlett. "This string is going to represent the connection between the two of us," Fisher said before initiating conversation. "What was something that frustrated you yesterday?" he asked, to which Bartlett responded, "My haircut didn't go to plan." Digging deeper, Fisher conveyed genuine curiosity in Bartlett's life before abruptly bending to pick up his phone. Now, with his face buried in the phone, "Oh, go ahead," Fisher said dismissively, which visibly changed Bartlett's expression. They felt the string between them loosening, and the host voiced how disrespected he felt by the interruption. That's exactly what happens to most of us.
While spending time with friends and family, we often reach for our phones between conversations, making the other person feel undervalued. Fisher brought Bartlett back into conversation, only to pull the same stunt again. This time, a frustrated Bartlett was the one to let go of the string. This experiment goes to show how trust is broken through these micro-habits, which influence deep cracks in our bonds.
In a survey (by Talker Research), parents of kids under 18 shared that their children are distracted by phones 52% of the time when they try to talk to them. This problem isn't restricted to kids. Respondents said that their partners are also distracted by phones during 58% of their conversations. Surprisingly, while 74% of parents had a device-free interaction with their kids in the past 7 days, only 64% experienced the same with their partners. Lately, some parents have been more aware of banning phones during important moments. For instance, the survey found 47% of respondents have banned phones during family dinners, while 38% have implemented the same during movie nights.
Meanwhile, reacting to the podcast, @elaine_austin_wood commented, "When they pick up their phone, I stop talking and wait. 9/10 times, they notice but say, 'I’m listening, carry on.' I then say, 'No, it’s ok, I can wait for you to finish.' Depending on their reaction, I carry on where I left off, or I mentally check out and finish up with them quickly and move on." Similarly, @radia.carr wrote, "Thank you, Jefferson, for highlighting this! To do this, it takes an incredible amount of self-awareness until it becomes a habit. I’m super aware of when my phone is out, and I really try my best not to have it out when I’m with friends. If someone walks and leaves and goes to the restroom, pay attention to the servers around you and pay attention to the other people... your surroundings."
You can follow The Diary Of A CEO (@thediaryofaceopodcast) on Instagram for more such inspirational insights.
More on Scoop Upworthy
Here's why parents everywhere are falling in love with this video about kids and phones
How a 6-day phone-free road trip with her dad transformed this Gen Z daughter
Share on Facebook
