Psychologist swears by this ‘7 inch’ rule every time she fights with husband — it's never failed them

Different tactics might work for every couple when it comes to solving their arguments, but the "7-inch rule" is sure to make the process smoother, easier, and less volatile. Dr. Rathika Marsh, who goes by @thespiritual_psychologist on Instagram, shared how she solved an argument with her husband by talking to him about it while they were standing close to each other. She shared their attempt at "communicating their anger up close" through one of her videos.

The couple was holding hands and standing nose to nose with each other as the video began. Both of them couldn't help but break into smiles and laugh as they talked about their fight. "You are meant to be angry at me. Why are you laughing so much?" the husband asked. "Why are you so OCD?" Marsh asked her husband in turn, as they continued laughing through the ordeal. "Why are you so messy?" the man asked in response, which prompted her to ask why he was so angry all the time. He explained that it was because he had to tidy up after her all the time. "24 years together and this is by far the funniest communication strategy I ever heard of," Dr. Marsh wrote in the caption, noting that this was a moment of laughter and joy after the couple had taken some time to cool down.

"We approached this after we had processed some of that anger and allowed each other space. This would obviously not be used in the heat of a moment nor with violent partners," she further added. Jordan Dann, a somatic couples therapist who goes by @jordandann on Instagram, reposted the video and shared why such a method would work for a couple. "In the study of interpersonal distances within romantic relationships, 18 centimeters (approximately 7.09 inches) falls within the range of intimate space." She highlighted that Heidy Schleifer, a renowned relationship therapist, had emphasized the importance of "relationship space" that makes up the emotional environment between two partners.

"At this range, the body gets involved, making detachment nearly impossible. You feel your partner’s emotions, mirroring breath and body language, which disrupts pure intellectual argumentation," Dann explained. She further added that "proximity" activates the nervous system and increases oxytocin — the bonding hormone — making it hard for couples to stay mad at each other. "Securely attached people lean into closeness, while avoidantly attached partners tend to pull away." The therapist went on, "That 18-centimeter gap? It’s the same space between a nursing baby and its mother’s face, our first connection to safety and love. Maybe that’s why this works. It taps into something primal." Many people shared their thoughts on the method in the comments section of the video.

@michaelagrace__ wrote, "My grandma said 'if you have to fight, do it holding hands.'" @soyvalepach commented, "Hahaha, my fiance always hugs me when I’m mad… he lets me talk but honestly he makes me lower my anger and focus on the important points without being blind to my feelings... love him…" @capturedshotsphotographybyjd remarked, "I am sorry but this got me tearing up. This is a beautiful, healthy, positive way of working through things. This is powerful if you really think about it."

You can follow Dr. Rathika Marsh (@thespiritual_spychologist), Jordan Dann (@jordandann) on Instagram for more lifestyle content.