Psychologists reveals the things parents should focus on while teaching children the true essence of kindness.
Every parent wants to do the best for their child. They want them to have the best of things, and also keep them grounded. Qualities like kindness, empathy, and bravery enrich people's lives. So, it is obvious why parents would want to inculcate them within their children. But how to do it? It is important that such things are taught to children in the right way. If agencies like fear are used they will feel scared to do a certain action, rather than understand the real reasoning why they should not do it. Once, that agency goes it would be easy for the children to come back to those same tendencies. Therefore, @dr.martha.psychologist has come up with a video that showcases what exactly parents can do to teach children kindness, in an impactful manner. In the video, she reiterates Angela C. Santomero's (author of Radical Kindness: The Life-Changing Power of Giving and Receiving) views that kindness is about "seeing with your heart."
Dr Martha Deiros Collado starts off the video by explaining, how wrong it is to expect, children to learn something like 'kindness' instinctively. In her opinion the tactic of, "How do you feel if another child did that to you?" is completely wrong. This shames them and embarrasses them, but does not make them actually understand why it is wrong to treat someone poorly. Moreover, children younger than 8 do not have the emotional capacity to comprehend how they would feel if they were someone else. If they did, then they would not be doing something mean in the first place.
The doctor explains how "Kindness is not something that you know, it is something that you learn in relationship with others." She suggests to parents that, this engagement can be developed by focussing on two areas. The first is 'empathy'. In order to do that, children need to look outwards. They need to see what is happening with another child and reflect on that. It should not be forced on them. Parents can question them, "What's happening with your friend?" and "How do you think they are feeling?" to encourage their thoughts, rather than thrusting on them their beliefs. The parents should help their child understand how what is happening to their friend is wrong, and why they need help.
The second area for development is, 'emotional regulation'. It is important that children are taught how to handle big feelings. She explains, "When big feelings are involved, kindness goes out of the window." They should understand that no matter how angry they might be, there is a way to treat people, which cannot be ignored. She asks parents to adhere to this suggestion as well. It is important that parents meet their child with "warmth and compassion in these sticky moments where they have unintentionally hurt somebody else." Rather than losing temper parents must focus on directing children towards kindness.
The psychologist shares in the caption, "Developing kindness is an integral part of children’s social and emotional development. There isn’t a ‘one size fits all’. You may need to focus more on empathy for some, while others may need more emotional regulation."
The comment section found the topic interesting and gave their perspective. @kellynieminski wants to try out the tips in the future, "I’m definitely going to try this! Thank you! Love it!" @michellepenhall shares how the video made her realize her mistakes in the past, "Ty!!! I have always said that and never considered them feeling shamed!"
View this post on Instagram