Psychologist reveals three phrases parents can use to deescalate situations when children are rude

In parenting, crossing every challenging stage only brings us to a new challenge. After handling fussy babies and naughty toddlers, parents move on to the stage where their kids begin to talk back and show rudeness. Looks like there's a failproof way to handle such situations. Dr. Becky Kennedy, a mom of three and a clinical psychologist who founded the parenting support platform Good Inside, has a solution. According to Kennedy—popularly known as @drbeckyatgoodinside on Instagram—all it takes is a thoughtful three-line response to help understand the child's rude behavior and help them out of it.

Most parents, when asking their child to do something, might've faced arrogant responses like, "I’m not doing that!" or "You’re the worst!" or even an eye roll. Kennedy says in her post caption that in situations like these, parents must "prioritize connecting when things are calm," and make the kids feel "seen, heard and respected." The first line a parent must say when their kid talks back is, "I hear you and you must be really upset to say something like that to me." Kennedy highlights the significance of reassuring children that they are basically "good kids" who just acted rude for some reason.

"Look, all I'm saying is I know you're a good kid even when you say some not-so-good things," is the second phrase the psychologist suggests using. Finally, parents must help de-escalate their kids' frustration by saying, "I know there's another way you can say that to me. Do you want to try again?" If you're wondering if this gentle response to disrespectful behavior means that parents have to "permit rudeness," Kennedy says otherwise. "You're acting like an adult. You are not being pulled into a power struggle or rudeness escalation," the expert pointed out. She also acknowledged that witnessing impolite behavior in their child might tempt parents to respond with harsh statements like, "You can't talk to me like that!" or "You're so disrespectful. No iPad tonight."

However, nothing good would come out of such scolding or punishments from parents, the expert believes. "We know if we give rudeness back to our kid, they are just going to give more rudeness back to us. That is so ineffective," Kennedy explained. Being an experienced psychologist and a mom herself, she understands that this response is not going to be easy. "I know this can be hard. I’ve been there. But, I know it’s the key to turning things around in your home," she added in the caption. The video garnered over 1.8 million views in 10 days and people could not be more grateful for Kennedy's advice. Some found it relatable when dealing with adults too.

"This absolutely works! My son said something awful to me the other morning while getting ready for school. I thought of you, took a deep breath and said, 'Wow! You must be really upset to have said that to me,' and he just nodded and said, 'I am.' We hugged, he even apologized and we connected instead of arguing. Thank you," said @katiem.n.family. "I wanted to cry when I saw this reel, that's how we should talk to our little ones, we are becoming their inside voices," remarked @kisilesky. "100% connection is key. Our kids are not giving us a hard time they are having a hard time. That statement is enough for me to flip the script. We need to help them through their emotions by giving them the tools and resources to cope with big feelings," added @janee_1504.

You can follow Dr. Becky (@drbeckyatgoodinside) on Instagram for more parenting insights.