This has got to be one of the cringiest initiation ceremonies in human history which — you're going to love this — is based on a FART joke.
Remember the Proud Boys? Yes, the very same far-right, neo-fascist, extremist group that was asked to "stand back and stand by" by President Donald Trump during the first presidential debate in September. Apparently, becoming a member of this oh-so-scary group of men involves going through one of the cringiest initiation ceremonies in human history which — you're going to love this — is based on a FART joke. I swear you could not make this sh*t up. Apparently a video of this "initiation ritual" has gone viral multiple times on the internet since 2017 and as with all comedic gold on the internet, it is now once again making the rounds of social media.
This. This is Donald Trump's America. https://t.co/wld2mmGTwe— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) September 30, 2020
The video, which was first tweeted by journalist Jack Smith IV, shows a prospective member undergoing the embarrassing ceremony during a "free speech" rally in Boston in 2017. The whole thing — which takes about 45 seconds from start to finish — positively reeks of juvenile pseudo-masculine energy and, fair warning, you might experience some second-hand embarrassment after watching it. Let's get into it, shall we? Essentially, the ritual involves the following degrees. First, one must publicly declare himself a Proud Boy.
Proud Boys initiation ritual.— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) November 14, 2020
Try not to to laugh... pic.twitter.com/4IsqdOKjrA
According to the group's founder, Gavin McInnes, the second degree involves getting beat up by other members until you name five kinds of breakfast cereal. This degree also includes a vow to stop masturbating. "This program allows porn only once every 30 days and insists a man can only ejaculate if he is within one yard of a woman with her consent," explained McInnes. The third degree requires the member to get a tattoo that says "Proud Boys" and "if someone has a problem with tattoos, branding is permitted."
Me watching this incel initiation. pic.twitter.com/jNxl8nVyvi— Scott Charles (@TheScottCharles) November 14, 2020
About one half of this initiation ritual is seen in the viral video which shows a bunch of White men in the yellow twin tipped Fred Perry polo shirts standing around the man who is there to make his debut to the group. Repeating after one guy wearing what appears to be a "Make America Great Again" hat, the newbie announces: "I am a Proud Boy. I am a western chauvinist. And I refuse to apologize for creating a modern world." The MAGA hat-wearer then signals the start of the breakfast cereal-naming-punching session with a count down. As the freshman Proud Boy begins to list off names of cereal brands, the group around him begins to pummel him — if you can even call that weak fist action pummeling.
Almost turned into a tickle fight.— Rhaegaro (@Rhaegaro) November 14, 2020
So tough, these fellas.
The secondhand embarrassment I’m feeling right now. pic.twitter.com/5NGvdAgnw6— DanaERTurton (@danada0109) November 14, 2020
Funny how representatives of the “master race” always looks like they were scraped off of the toilet bowl of humanity— Rob Sheridan (@rob_sheridan) November 14, 2020
Explaining the reasoning behind the ritual back in 2016, McInnes wrote: "You must get the crap beaten out of you by at least five guys until you can name five breakfast cereals. If you hammer out, ‘Chex, Cheerios, Rice Krispies, Corn Flakes, and Special K’ in a matter of seconds, you’re free to go. If you get flummoxed by the punches and cannot think straight, well, sorry, you’re going to get pounded. The rationale here is we all need better adrenaline control. Both physical fighting and arguing require you to maintain your composure and not get petty... Defending the West against the people who want to shut it down is like remembering cereals as you're being bombarded with ten fists. The bonding and camaraderie this violence produces is inspiring."
I mean, this is the energy I'm getting... pic.twitter.com/94e8uuwTg8— America's Hope Is Back (@Gemini1375) November 15, 2020
Meanwhile, Yosef Ozia — a member of the Southern Proud Boys chapter — told Extra Crispy back in 2018 that this supposedly "manly" ritual originated from a fart joke. Yup, the classic. Ozia revealed that McInnes introduced the breakfast cereal element based on a rule his pals had in the past: if you fart, you get beat on until you list five kinds of breakfast cereal. Ummm... perhaps they should rethink that name of theirs. Might I suggest 'Cereal Farters'?