Professional counselor explains who 'gentle parenting' helps more in parent-child relationships

Gentle parenting often sparks debates with some parents speaking in favor of it while others believe traditional parenting methods are better for a child's growth. This parenting approach has gained popularity and sparked discussions across the globe in recent years. But the real question is: Does gentle parenting actually work for every child? One professional counselor took to TikTok to share a video that sheds some clarity on the ideas surrounding this topic.

KC Davis, who goes by the handle @domesticblisters on TikTok, stated in her 2022 video that the gentle parenting approach is not what everyone thinks it is. "I’m so sick of people talking about gentle parenting by being like, 'Makes children soft.' Do you know what the softest thing in the world is?" she says at the beginning of the video. "A fully grown adult that cannot regulate their behavior in the face of something a literal child has done." Davis firmly states that gentle parenting can be defined as regulated parenting and it's meant to focus more on the parent's behavior than the child's.

"It is, 'I want to learn how to regulate my own emotions, how to manage my own nervous system activation before deciding what to do in response to my child,'" Davis continues, "It is not easy. It’s hard work and we all make mistakes but seems like what is really making kids soft is whatever parenting these people got," the caption of Davis' video reads. "Parents who are regulated, don't hit and scream at their children," she adds at the end.

Those who are trying out gentle parenting methods with their kids know very well that it is not easy. By implementing this approach into their parenting style several moms and dads are learning how to be a gentle parent to their child and also teach themselves how to regulate their own emotions around their kid. According to ABC, a while back, Channel Nine's latest season of "Parental Guidance" also got slammed by viewers for promoting gentle parenting and several other parenting styles.

The viewers were introduced to twelve different parenting styles such as the outback, lighthouse, unstructured, influencer and of course, gentle parenting. But it seems viewers were strongly against the gentle approach to parenting. Comments criticizing the episode called gentle parents "self-centered snowflakes" and preached how children need to be disciplined to be prepared for the real world, reports the outlet.

"It's seeing behavior not as good or bad, but as an expression of feelings and needs," Dr. Rebecca English told ABC in 2022. English, who is a mum of three, has also written a book on gentle parenting and she states that the technique is about being understanding and empathetic with your child.

"I think for a lot of us, when we think about how we were raised as well, maybe we want to do things differently," she added. "When you come to a crossing, you would say, 'Stopping at the crossing is important otherwise you will get hurt.'" She also stated that "it's about being clear with directions and instructions and knowing sometimes our children won't do them."

"If they don't, you grab them and stop them [to keep them safe]—but we don't punish them if they don't stop and we don't reward them if they do," she concluded.