Postpartum mom defends decision to send in-laws to hotel after they crash her family beach vacation

The holiday season often evokes images of cozy times at home, surrounded by family, good food and joyful moments. However, even the best-intentioned family gatherings can sometimes descend into conflict and drama. Family dynamics are complex, and crowding too many people into a small space can lead to inevitable clashes. A new mom, known on Reddit as u/Significant_Cook_160, recently shared her experience of a beach vacation that quickly devolved into arguments and tension among family members.

"I (37F) took a beach vacation with my husband(40M) and our three kids (4, 2 and 3 months old). We also invited his sister, husband and two kids (4 and 3) as we had a detached bedroom from the main house and we genuinely like hanging out with them," she began. She added that she had specifically told her sister-in-law she wanted to keep the trip small this year since she was still recovering postpartum and wanted to avoid unnecessary stress.

"While we were at the beach we saw my MIL, FIL, stepson(20) and his girlfriend pull up. This is a three-hour drive from where we live," she wrote. "They came to surprise us at the beach since we hadn’t seen my stepson in two months. My sister-in-law said they've been planning this for weeks and she gave them the mile marker. This was a cool surprise, but afterward, they expected to stay with us in our 1bd/1ba rental house with no real doors(only sliding doors)," she explained.

"They had no plans for lodging or eating, so we got to work to make dinner which was fine because I had packed extra food," the new mom shared. She explained that she had put the baby down for a nap in the restroom, using it as a quiet space. However, when she later went to check on the baby, she was shocked to see her stepson and his girlfriend together in the shower, just steps away from her 3-month-old. Furious, she went to the kitchen and informed her sister-in-law that they could not stay. She also expressed her frustration to her husband, explaining why the arrangement was unworkable. "My husband told them they could because he is out of touch with what that would actually mean (six adults, two toddlers sharing one restroom where two babies are sleeping)," she wrote. By then, her sister-in-law understood the situation and began looking up hotels.

"My stepson's girlfriend was already scoping out the couch and she could have slept there but after wrestling two babies to sleep in the restroom and my four-year-old to sleep in the actual bed, the couch was the only place I could sit and have a glass of wine at the end of the night in peace," the mom explained. She added, "After getting a hotel room, they stayed at the beach house until midnight playing poker on the patio and shouting. My husband asked his dad to please be quiet since the kids were sleeping and father-in-law loudly shouted 'shut up' and kept playing." The well-intentioned surprise ended up causing turmoil between the couple. Her husband argued that they should have let the holiday crashers stay since they were relatives. Toward the end of the post, the mom expressed doubt and turned to the community, asking if she was wrong for not letting her in-laws stay with them.

People in the comment section were quick to point out that the in-laws were clearly at fault for not respecting the new mom's boundaries. "I don't know about you but I would be absolutely pissed if the only place I could put my child to sleep in their playpen was the bathroom and I go to check on them to find not even three steps away was my stepson and his girlfriend together naked in the shower doing god knows What. NTA," wrote u/CarefulSignal7854. "Yeah, it’s a hell no. Not only did they just appear, they didn’t plan for food or pay for their own hotel. That’s rude and inconsiderate and it would be something that would make me not plan another damn thing with sister-in-law either. I don’t like these kinds of surprises. NTA" expressed u/Mandiezie1. "A fun surprise for whom?? A surprise, maybe, but no fun for you. I’m surprised they didn’t ask you to pay for the hotel. I missed that YOU paid half of their hotel! That’s the gravy on the s**t sandwich that this vacation became. Next time, enjoy yourselves and your kids, without any more surprises," added u/Itchy-Discussion-988.