Poor people who have dated rich ones share 20 mind-boggling things that they've learned

When people from diverse economic backgrounds start dating each other, they merge a dynamic array of perspectives and experiences. Those who have lived frugally or grown up with less wealth often encounter daily revelations when dating someone rich. This relationship can offer insightful glimpses into how the wealthy navigate everyday tasks, often revealing stark contrasts.

In many cases, it becomes tricky to continue the relationship healthily for a long time as any discussion that emphasizes money might raise tensions. When u/zipzap21 on Reddit expressed their curiosity about this relationship dynamic and asked, "Poor people who have dated rich people, what did you learn?" many who pursued such relationships had lots of interesting observations to share. Here are 20 of the most mind-boggling answers.

1. Booked out an entire bowling alley

I only went on one date with him. He booked out the entire bowling alley so we'd have privacy for our date. It just seemed so shockingly wasteful to me, and it was bizarre to have a 20-lane bowling alley just for the two of us plus a fair-sized staff who were left with nothing to do but look after us. I learned I'm very uncomfortable with that level of casual assumption that the world will rearrange itself to suit my whims. Also, he had absolutely no respect for personal space. I don't think he was used to women not liking to be touched by folks they barely knew. -u/MerylSquirrel

2. Nothing had any value to them 

Dated a man who didn't work and lived off of a trust fund. Oddly, since he could afford nearly anything - nothing had any value. He'd buy a $400 KitchenAid mixer - and burn it up making Christmas candy the first week. If he decided to make more candy - he'd just go buy another $400 mixer. Nothing meant particularly anything to him. -u/BlitheringEediot

3. Having money can make people extremely productive 

I learned just how productive having money can be. Does something need to be fixed/ replaced? We can afford to. Want to do something fun or adventurous? Sure, let's do it now. Want to eat healthier? We can afford all the ingredients. Like what do you mean your life isn't slowed down by a million different things that need fixing/ upgrading/ replacing/ saved for? -Reddit

4. No concept of saving 

He didn’t have any concept of saving money, it was always just there because his money was always earning money. Having money was an income stream in itself. Also, he had no concept of how much anything cost. Was going to get some groceries for dinner and he gave me $300 to pick up some basics. -u/problematicsquirrel

5. Frequently taking planes to go places 

Well, I wasn't that poor, and she wasn't that rich, but it was enough of a difference that I was shocked at how often she just took planes. Like, she flew more in the summer than I had my whole life. That and apparently, they go to Hawaii for a week every year, which was fun the time I got to tag along, but it's pretty wild to me that they can just do that. Even if I could afford it, I don't have enough vacation time to do that every year. -u/Aperture_T

6. Had no idea how hard life could be 

Spent the first 8 years of my adult life with a woman whose parents had money. She had no conception of how hard life could be if you couldn’t just sell stocks to buy a new car or have someone give you a couple thousand to put you up in a new place. She pocketed her paycheck every two weeks. When we went out, I paid for gas. I bought dinner. Didn’t think much about it at the time because we were engaged. When we broke up, she had $30k in her savings account and I was broke. Growing up with money is like hitting every green light and not having to worry about traffic jams. And it really f***s with your ability to empathize with people. -u/ethnicbonsai

7. They take a lot of things for granted 

I went out with a girl briefly years ago, and her parents had a good amount of money. I grew up in a small cottage, where we shared rooms and my parents slept in our living room. This girl's place? They had a private sauna, and her brother was given a curved smart TV (must have been like a 50"+), multiple new gaming systems, all tuition paid for university, etc. And here I am buying that, and having my student loans all to myself. I think what I learned is people take for granted sometimes what they have, while others value the basics. -u/Another_Basic_NPC

8. Could always return to luxury 

Met this girl from Greece, studying art at St Martin's College. Her dad was absolutely loaded and she told me she wanted me to show her what it was like to live like common people. You know, do what common people do. So I took her to the supermarket and told her to pretend she had no money (had to start somewhere I guess), she played along and got a shitty flat above a shop and got a job, etc. But at the end of the day, I always knew that if she phoned her dad he would be able to stop it all and take her back into luxury. For me that was the key difference. -u/SoapNooooo

9. Rich people are weirdly stingy with certain things 

Not dated, but I grew up firmly middle class in a very rich area so most of my high school friends were from rich families. What I found was that rich people can be weirdly stingy with money when it comes to certain things and just not care for other things. They'd spent nearly 100 grand flying the entire family out to Disney World (from Europe) for a weekend but the family car would be a 15-year-old rusty minivan. One friend lived in a house with a swimming pool and a sauna in the basement, but his mom did the shopping at Lidl and Aldi. -u/ConstableBlimeyChips

10. Learned about generational wealth 

Dating an Arab woman from a billionaire family. Most of their money came from investments made over a hundred years ago. The OG split his gains between his sons and daughters who went on to start their own businesses and investments. The train has been rolling since then. Definitely learned a lot about generational wealth from her and her folks. -u/aifranchise

11. Out of touch with reality 

I've become friends with some very wealthy people. Their children, even if they are "good people" are, more often than not, completely clueless about the real world. Like they can't envision living without the money so they don't understand why people are upset about getting fired or struggling to pay bills. -Reddit

12. They avoid bragging about their money 

Health care is looked at the same way as maintenance on a car. It isn't looked at like waiting for something to break before seeing someone about it. Wealth is very quiet. No logos. Pretty, monochrome clothes but tailored. No bragging about money or throwing it around. A pretty strict sense of manners and etiquette. They're not going to be shouting over everyone in the restaurant or twerking in the booths. -u/GingerBanger85

13. Being rich grants you some power 

Being rich automatically puts you in a slight position of power. I learned that the rich people who have to tell everyone they are rich every 5 seconds usually abuse that power. The rich who don't feel the need to tell everyone, tend to make better decisions about how they treat people and handle themselves. The good ones are usually self-made. -u/Every-Chemistry-2969

14. Think that it is a choice to be poor 

My fiancé is rich and I am dirt poor. He doesn’t understand that I can’t simply buy a Vespa or random things because I straight up can’t afford it. He also believes being poor is a choice and doesn’t understand why I don’t just go out and get a 100k/yr salary. He is also tight with his money. I don’t ask him to help with my bills, although in my fantasies he pays off my crushing credit card debt. He’s a great person, but has never had the experience or should I say anxiety of making your monthly bills. -u/celestial_silhouette

15. Get offended if somebody says they are born into wealth 

People who are entitled and born into wealth will go absurdly out of their way to explain to you how they aren’t actually entitled or born into wealth and generally get deeply offended if you challenge that notion. Source: I was 1 of 11 kids who grew up in a 2 bedroom house in the hood in Baltimore. She was the only child of a fantastically wealthy restauranteur who owned 8 restaurants in Houston. -u/Rok275

16. Avoid social media and value privacy 

Really rich people from old money do not have social media. They value privacy too much. And they do not show off branded goods that have labels. And they do background checks on you before they get involved. They spend money only on certain things that are important to them but can be cheap with certain things - quirks. For example, may insist on staying at only a certain hotel because it is where their family has always stayed - even if obscenely expensive, but may insist on very plain, bland food for most meals at home. -u/CanuckBee

17. Lacked responsibility 

How people who can get everything they want have little understanding of the concept of responsibility. The girl I dated came from a wealthy family - nice house - rich heritage - pleasant enough parents - spoiled brat of a daughter which I realized too late. She loved the finer things in life as long as they were paid for by someone else. Thankfully I was rid of her by the virtue of the fact her maturity level meant she dumped me by text. Responsibility? Not if someone with money in the family can pay for it. -u/commuterpete

18. Relationships with them seem superficial 

I grew up poor but always had rich friends. At this point, I support myself, and do alright, but definitely not rich. I have realized lately after dating so many different types of people that I don’t like dating men who are wealthy. They are often more entitled and shallow. It always feels like the relationship is superficial, they could never really see themselves with someone like me who might have a pretty face and a good education but works with my hands for a living. I grew up without much but my family is awesome. They know how to make something out of nothing and have pride in who they are. It’s awkward to feel like someone you are dating feels sorry for you when secretly you prefer your own life and like who you are. -u/Deep_Seas_QA 

19. Emphasis on outward appearances 

They genuinely believe they're self-made and have zero recognition of the advantages and privileges that helped them on their way. Also far too much emphasis on "keeping up appearances" and gatekeeping (did you go to the right school/wear the right brands/live in the right neighborhood). -u/Hopeless_Ramentic

20. Spends a lot of money on random things 

I didn't date one but working as a musician I saw plenty. A rich man's teenage kid wanted to play the piano (without having shown much talent for it). Bam! Instantly bought a $60,000 Steinway for him just to tinker with. It's something I will never ever have money for even though it's my profession. Another bloke "hired" me to give him guitar lessons, only to show off his extravagant collection and top-tier amplifiers that he barely touched. Basically, instruments that could be put to great use just sitting around. -u/emorcen