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Person explains that children don't owe their parents anything and it's sparking a debate

The insightful post encourages people to only have kids if they feel the desire to nurture and care for another living being.

Person explains that children don't owe their parents anything and it's sparking a debate
Cover Image Source: Pixabay/ Photo by johnhain

Ann Davidman, a licensed marriage and family therapist, parenthood clarity mentor and author, wrote in a piece for VOX that the increasing confusion regarding parenthood is because of the pronatalist nature of society. It implies that societal expectation dictates that people have children. Even in recent years, 56% of the population has expressed the desire to not have children, according to data published by Pew Research Centre.

But eventually, many of these individuals come around to the idea of becoming parents, according to Davidman, because of factors like making relationships work or future concerns. The question arises, are these the right reasons to have kids? According to Twitter user @ExquisiteRebelN, the answer is a firm NO.



 

@ExquisiteRebelN believes that if people have no wish to have children, they must not go down the road for the sake of societal expectations. She emphasizes that the decision to have children should not include the expectation of fulfilling an adult's societal goals or safeguarding their own future. In the social media user's opinion, the only rationality behind whether to have kids must be that "you want to nurture and care for another being." No other reason can justify the humongous decision of bringing a human being into the world that could alter both an individual's personal and professional dynamic.

Image Source: Pexels/ Photo by 
Caleb Oquendo
Image Source: Pexels/ Photo by Caleb Oquendo

@ExquisiteRebelN further rejects common justifications to have kids, like having someone to take care of them in one's old age or to advance their progeny. In her opinion, such expectations are unethical as they form the basis of "emotional blackmail." The entire experience of bringing a child into the world should be filled with positive thoughts and manifestation, and "emotional blackmail" should not be a part of it.

She warns parents to never use lines like "I brought you into this world and raised you, had you for this reason, so give me that happiness." She stands up for kids in such situations by emphasizing that parents decide on having children of their own volition, therefore, they cannot expect to be rewarded by their children when the latter had no part in the decision-making.

Such conversations are essential, as there has been a trend toward an increase in depression among children because of parental pressure, according to a study by the National Library of Medicine. Parental pressure can lead children into a state of constant anxiety and garner self-esteem issues. It is also an unhealthy proposition for parents as they constantly deal with a responsibility they might not have taken up for the right reasons rooted in their well-being and happiness. Therefore, @ExquisiteRebelN, through her post, attempts to make individuals aware that for their own mental health, they must decide on parenthood out of their own wish to nurture and not under some expectation.



 

 



 

The comment section agreed with the points put forward by the Twitter user. @ayaowre shares the story of how her mother got herself into parenthood without having any desire for it, "I think 'I was pressured by society/my family/partner to have kids' is also a sympathetic reason. My mom didn't want kids, but she never pushed any 'responsibilities' onto me for existing through no choice of my own, so I refuse to condemn her for having me anyway." @maiamindel pointed out the biggest red flag amongst all the unjustified reasons stated in the post: "To continue the family/bloodline/last name."

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