People with depression share 10 things they wish others would understand about them and it's illuminating

Misconceptions and myths about depression.

Depression is often a complex and misunderstood mental health disorder in contemporary society. Common misconceptions include thinking that it's just a phase of "feeling sad", that it's a choice, or a sign of weakness. In reality, it is a very harsh medical condition, not a personal failure and support is crucial for those affected. A better understanding of depression can help reduce stigma and promote empathy and effective treatment. u/Psytrancedude99 wanted to clear the air about the disorder and asked people dealing with depression in the Reddit community, "What is something you wish others would understand?" Here are 10 of the best answers that individuals had to provide. 

1. You cannot cheer them up

That you can't cheer me up. u/sweilem. And just because I’m laughing or socializing doesn’t mean I’m “cured.” u/LightAntilogies. Some depressed people don’t share how they are feeling. You would never know, because we’re the best fakers. Especially if you’re suicidal, don’t give anyone a clue. Because sometimes, it’s not a cry for help, it’s that we really don’t want to be here anymore. u/DolphinDarko. Definitely. Some people may have a mild enough version of anxiety/depression that they can use some psychological tricks to pull themselves out of it. But for a lot of us, it’s a chemical imbalance that we can’t just will away. u/12345_PIZZA. I feel like this is my husband, he tells me he’s learned tricks to help him and he’s done the therapist thing so he knows. No, I’m sorry but that doesn’t work for me. It’s exhausting to try and explain so I’ve given up. u/StardustVortex

2. Perception of time 

Time moves differently. u/Caseated_Omentum. Exactly. It just feels like I’m waiting. Like when you go to the emergency room or urgent care and you end up waiting for 6 hours. It’s like that but months to years on end. Plus, I don’t even know what I’m waiting for. I’m just waiting and time moves extremely slow. u/sisterfister69hitler. Waiting for things to either get better so you can be happy or to get worse so you can finally go through with throwing yourself off a bridge, but neither happens so you’re just stuck in between forever. u/IaniteThePirate. Pretty much how I've felt since high school. Just waiting for something to happen. No idea what is, just waiting. u/Stargov1

3. Therapy doesn't always work

Therapy isn’t an automatic cure. u/Silent_Escape_3186. This is a really important one. You have to be willing to put in lots of work for therapy to actually pay off, which is incredibly hard to do with depression. u/Broshida. Even if you’re willing and able to put in the work, finding a therapist that’s actually helpful is so so hard. I’ve been trying so damn hard for such a long time and I see yet another new therapist tomorrow but it’s f****** exhausting. u/IaniteThePirate. In my opinion, for some people, therapy is useless. The problem is that it may help you, but it may not. The idea that therapy helps everyone is just a lie. Some people already know all the coping mechanisms, or maybe didn't experience many traumatic things, so therapy won't help much. Reddit

4. How tired they are

Just how tired I am. Even if it’s one of the rare times I get a decent night's sleep I’m still so tired. u/GengarKillsAsh. It literally doesn’t matter how much sleep I get in any given night, week, or month. I am always chronically exhausted. Even when I’m laying in bed desperately wishing I would fall asleep, still totally exhausted. u/LiveNDiiirect. It’s such an awful state to be in. Maybe once in a month, I feel rested. Doesn’t last long and then I end up being unable to sleep until all hours and I’m more screwed than before. It’s a never-ending cycle. u/GengarKillsAsh. This is usually how I notice my depression has gotten worse. All I want to do is sleep, and then I’m like, "Oh maybe I should call my doctor." u/Emkems

5. Care for other people

It's not that I don't care about you, I just don't have the energy to care as much as I used to. I don't even take care of myself so how can I take care of you? u/PC_Pickle. Yup. I know I’ve been a bad friend, mother, mother-in-law, aunt, wife and I’m doing my best. I can just about scrape up enough mental resources to be a good grandmother and a decent wife/mother/mother-in-law now. My husband definitely takes on a lot of the role, so I can be there. I don’t have the mental resources for everyone else even though I love them. I can’t. I sort of have some friends now? I certainly cut off some dead wood. I wish I could get better quicker but I’m doing what I can. I’m fortunate that I am loved a lot by my husband, my son, my daughter-in-law and my granddaughter. u/InadmissibleHug

6. You cannot talk them out of it

It's not rational. You can't talk me out of it. u/Alexis_J_M. My brain and my heart aren’t different departments in the same company- they’re on different planets with vastly different experiences. u/5isanevennumber. We're also painfully aware that it's not rational. "Tell your brain to shut up" is great and all, but if there were any reasoning with depression, I'd have done it ages ago. u/purinsesu-piichi. An ex used to tell me "just be happy" as if I were choosing to feel this way? Gee, if it were that easy then everyone would be fine. u/ChronoClaws

7. There is a physical component to it

That it physically hurts too. u/sosasmyprotege. Yes. For me, I always feel soreness in the trunk of my body. u/lovember_. To me, it's like an ever-present weight holding me down almost. Sometimes it feels very slight, other times it sits on my chest or even keeps me in place for long periods of time. It also is like night time where it is a presence that is blanketed over me and controls me, to a point where I can actually feel it. It's nuts when I say it like that cause it's as if I'm saying a ghost or a supernatural thing is doing this to me, no, I'm saying it's that powerful a thing that it is too much to handle for one person all on their own. u/_TheyCallMeMother_

8. Not feeling excited for anything 

I genuinely do not feel excited for anything anymore, but just because I’m not excited about something doesn’t mean I’m not looking forward to it. I’m going on vacation in less than two weeks and I wanna go and I’m really looking forward to it, but I literally do not feel a single ounce of excitement or happiness about it. u/hyrulian_princess. God, I feel the same. I have basically stopped looking forward to anything — parties, events, even the releases of shows I adore. Something will come up, it always does. You can't be disappointed if you didn't have expectations in the first place. u/Spasay. I have that too but I think it's more to do with anxiety, OCD, PTSD and autistic burnout. I get depressed on and off, but the anxiety/OCD/PTSD are all constant and draining. It's hard to feel excited for anything when my brain is constantly going over all the ways it could turn out to be terrible. u/Daddyssillypuppy

9. That they don't want everybody to know

I don't want people to know I have depression. I feel ashamed of it. u/Vandonklewink. From someone who dealt with depression for a long time, if the people you know would judge you for it, then those are not people you should be around. There's no need to feel ashamed of it, millions of people struggle with it silently, many try to ignore it, but there is no shame in having mental health issues. u/TtheOutcast. I once told my "friends" about my mental health struggles and thoughts of suicide because they kept asking (and my ex told them a bit about it). No one ever texted me again. I didn’t get invited to birthdays or other events anymore. Except for one person who still struggles with my behavior sometimes (don’t text back immediately, don’t want to meet that often etc.) But he keeps in touch and I am very grateful for that. u/kryZme

10. It is ever-present

For me, it’s always present. Depression causes you to lose your vitality. It’s sort of like ocean waves; some days it comes crashing in - other days it’s calmer. It’s always there and you have to pay attention to it and try to deal with it the best you can. When your symptoms are milder, you try to get things done like laundry and cleaning the house because when symptoms get bad, you cannot compel yourself to do the simplest of things. u/thomport. When you suddenly notice things have been going well and that feeling of impending doom knowing it can’t last and what’s on the other side. Let the high tide carry the low. u/KittensAndGravy