People who were once engaged reveal 10 core reasons why they didn't end up getting married

Being engaged doesn't mean marriage is always on the cards.

Getting engaged represents a major milestone in one's relationship. It symbolizes a foundation for creating a shared future. Even though one might think that this step ensures marriage is definitely on the cards, it's not the reality in many cases. Life often gets in the way and couples often have to deal with timing and circumstances that sometimes make them take the hard decision of parting ways. There is also the presence of expectations from society that makes individuals reconsider their commitment. When u/mim_nivi asked people on the Reddit platform, "People who were engaged at one point but never got married, what happened?" many came forward and shared stories of their lives, explaining why they couldn't make it to the alter despite being engaged once. Here are 10 of the most interesting answers people had to offer. 

1. Incompatibility with partner

He wasn't participating in the wedding planning at all and I realized he didn't actually want to get married. There was a lot of pressure from his family and admittedly, me as well. I just wanted a family and to be married and hadn't really paid attention to his reluctance up until that point. It was 3 months before the wedding and I sat down and reviewed our relationship. We were incompatible at several crucial points, even though we loved each other a lot. So I called off the wedding and ended it and while we were both sad, we were also relieved. This was more than a decade ago and whenever we run into each other we catch up and there are no hard feelings at all. He's married and a father now and I couldn't be happier for him. u/Midnight_Muse

2. Cheated before marriage

He cheated before we got married and I found out. I thank the stars every f****** day I didn’t marry him. u/fatfemmebish. This just happened to me a week ago. We were less than two weeks away from our wedding and she was going crazy over the last couple of weeks for some reason. I had no idea why and thought she was just nervous. Until one morning she suddenly confessed that she slept with someone multiple times over a long period when we had a long-distance relationship. We cancelled the wedding and I broke up with her. I know it is better like this but I am freaking gutted. The future we had planned together died and I feel hurt like I never have felt before. u/OwnerOfABouncyBall

3. Facing several miscarriages

We had like 6 miscarriages. At the end of the relationship, he said something to me like, “It’s just so hard… I look at your face and I feel like I SEE nothing but 6 dead babies.” Can’t really come back from that one. I mean some people can. We couldn’t. It wasn’t HIM as far as I know, although I don’t believe he has children, but my doctors think that our genetics were just not very compatible. I had two other miscarriages with two other men, and the only two healthy children I had happened to be with a huge, massive very Viking-esque strong man with very different genetics than mine. They’re strong as hell kids, too. Giant. u/relentpersist

4. Not coordinating for wedding

She started hanging out with an old group of high school friends and just changed. She became extremely nasty over wedding plans, telling me we had to have the exact same number of guests on both sides. If I had one more guest than she did, she made me remove someone from my side. I knew if I moved forward it would have ended in divorce, so I just ended it before it got to that. u/Wastoponcene. 

5. Partner began showing his "true colors"

The longer we lived together leading up to the wedding, the more he showed his true colors. One day while I was cooking dinner for us he started screaming at me, like an inch from my face and called me a c**t. Something about it snapped some sense into me. I walked out and never went back. u/gamergirl007. There's a whole thread here about men who become abusive the minute they're engaged or the minute the "I Do" is said at the altar. So, many women with stories of the first time being hit on their honeymoon. You dodged a bullet getting out beforehand. Reddit

6. Problems with disability assistance

We’re still technically engaged, but we never wanted a wedding. We met way late in life (I’m 50, she’s in her mid 40’s), no kids, and if we get legally married the government screws with her disability assistance so she is my spouse, my partner, and my soul mate. But we don’t feel the need to get married. But I do have a living will just in case. We will be celebrating our 10-year anniversary early next year. u/lovedontfalter. 

7. Being in a toxic relationship

It was toxic and a month before we were supposed to get married I broke my foot at an event I was helping, she was there too but just partying. When I told her I probably broke my foot, she said I shouldn't be a little baby and just walk home since the party was over. I couldn't stand on it. She helped me a couple of meters forward and then she just pushed me. That night my mother took me to the hospital, and that night, I decided all the lies and mental abuse was enough and ended it. Best decision of my life. 3 months ago and I'm finally getting back to being me. u/TheNamesKev. 

8. Tried to get them to convert their religion

He decided to recommit to his faith (he's JW) and tried to get me to convert. I refused. He then tried to tell me I couldn't go out with my friends. I went out and he had a temper tantrum that would put my 3-year-old niece to shame. He trashed the house and drove to his parent's house 2 states away. I got all the deposits back that I could. He texted me on what would have been our wedding day to remind me what a mistake I made. I sent him a picture of me and several of my friends whom I was told I was not allowed to see having a very fancy sushi dinner with the deposit money. My friends and I had a hell of a night. It was 10 years ago. I’m so glad I didn’t go through with it. I just married the best person I’ve ever met a month ago. We started dating about 6 months after I called off the wedding. u/Thepenguinwhat

9. Silent treatment during an emergency

I had a friend who was engaged. One day, she had a fight with her fiancé and drove from his house mad. On her way home, she ended up in a bad car accident. She tried to call him several times. Wouldn’t pick up. Her family tried. Nothing. Her friends tried. Nothing. His friends tried. Nothing. His family tried. Nothing. Dude was quite serious about giving her the silent treatment. Needless to say, she didn’t think he handled that well and broke it off. I should add that after he found out what had happened, he just kind of went “oh, ok” instead of apologizing or asking if she was alright. It wasn’t just that he went to bed or something at the wrong time. u/Transparent-Paint

10. Abusive and narcissistic partner

I broke up with him 2 months before our wedding. He was abusive to me, a narcissist, he just didn’t value me. I felt that I had given so much in that relationship with nothing in return. I wasn’t perfect however, I lashed out and became someone I am not due to the abuse I was enduring, I just wanted to die. I was depressed 24/7 and felt alone and he had isolated me from friends and family. I got the strength to leave after a trip visiting my family without him and realized how happy I was alone than when I was with him. When I got back I broke up with him (I had also found out he had cheated on me). When I confronted the cheating part he put his hands on me causing me to have neck and back injuries. It was one of the most traumatic relationships I had ever been in. I absolutely thank myself every day for the strength I had to leave. u/shygirllala224