The wife refused to uphold her end of the bargain in one particular instance.
Most parents aim to teach their kids responsibility, but this can sometimes lead to disagreements. In some cases, a lack of tough love can cause tension in how things are managed. Reddit user u/Local-Effective-613 found himself in such a situation, forced to make a tough call when his wife broke a long-standing agreement they had about their child.
"My wife and I agreed on a lot of the big things before we got married. Where we would live. How we would deal with our families. How we would raise our kids. Stuff like that. Deal breakers," the husband shared. "One of our decisions was that as long as our kids were full-time students, they would not have to contribute monetarily to the household budget." He added, "Obviously, they would still have chores and such. If they weren't full-time students, they would get a six-month grace period after which they had to pay rent and buy their own food. Rent would be equal to 1/4 of full-time minimum wage work." The couple made the agreement back in 1998.
"Our eldest did not want to go to university and used the six months after graduation to work, save money and plan a trip around the world," the dad revealed. "When he got back, he started an apprenticeship and is now a welder." The couple's middle child went to university and is now a registered nurse. "Our youngest did one semester of college and decided it wasn't for him. He also decided that he didn't want to work," he continued. "After six months, I told him that he was now responsible for his rent and food budget." The son went to his mom crying and said he couldn't afford that. "She said he didn't have to pay. She didn't discuss it with me first. It was a unilateral decision on her part," the dad shared.
"She pays all our bills. I give her a set amount every month to pay for everything. The money she earns, she either spends however she wants or it goes into our vacation fund," the man explained. "So I decided to cut my contribution to our budget by the cost of rent and 1/3 of our grocery bill." When the wife questioned his actions, he told her he did it because she broke their agreement. "She has been paying the difference out of the money that would normally go into our vacation account and she cut back on her personal spending," the man remarked. The wife is upset about this turn of events and thinks he is wrong for being "financially manipulative." He expressed, "I think she needs to either accept it or get her poor baby to grow up."
The woman tried to get the two older kids on her side, but they agreed with their dad. People took to the comments to support the man's decision. u/meeps1142 wrote, "This is going to harm your youngest son. It sounds like he needs a push to get started on something. Not working at all with zero bills is gonna cause him to stagnate and honestly, probably end up depressed." u/Ok-Geologist-7335 commented, "This will also harm the relationship between the siblings. How many posts do we see about siblings and the one golden child? The older siblings will resent the youngest; they will see favoritism." u/bhimtu remarked, "In one fell swoop, his wife FAILED that kid. He will FAIL because she simply coddled him, then doubled down on her failure! Unbelievable."