People share 10 simply good traits that can be misinterpreted as 'red flags' by others

Difference between 'red flag' and 'green flag.'

People are quick to judge a book by its cover. Societal conditioning has made us skeptical about trusting people easily and most of the time, we feel like every individual is wearing a mask and not revealing their true selves to us. It is exactly why kind gestures and traits in a person are often misinterpreted as 'red flags' and mark them as the kind of person we should avoid at all costs. But in reality, that case is quite the opposite. u/ShareFlat4478 popped an interesting question to the Reddit community that read: "What's the biggest green flag that could be misinterpreted as a red flag?" Fellow users are here with some interesting answers that explain why everything can not be randomly marked as a red flag.

1. Being a quiet person

Being quiet/reserved. It can easily be interpreted as someone being boring, not fun, unintelligent, etc. But it can also be that someone is mature, has good internal guidance, or is just humble. - u/animalhappiness. In my case, it was an extreme lack of confidence and depression. It was crushed out of me by my former step-father and bullies, so by the time I got out, I was quiet, reserved, sullen and didn't trust easily. I'm trying to work on it, but after a decade and a half, I've only gotten slightly better, but only to people who take the effort to see past that. - u/Drakeskulled_Reaper

2. Being forthcoming

I've gotten a lot of stuff over my early life for this, but it landed me my wife, at least. I like to get things out early so I can either make it clear the things I'm interested in or clear up misconceptions I don't want to deal with. It helps save everybody time, so we don't waste it trying to figure things out that could've been mentioned on day one. My wife was on the same page and we hammered out almost all of our deal breakers very early in dating and after we were both happy with the answers we got we moved forward with dating. It was nice to know that I was mostly getting to know her and being increasingly involved in her life without a lot of concern something would come out of nowhere and cause us to need to reevaluate our relationship relative to something withheld. Glad it worked out for me, but it has been seen as a red flag before and I understand why. - u/Arrowkill

3. Being close to family members 

My brother and I are close, best friends, I'd say. We just had each other for the longest time. Our parents were not much involved in our lives. So, to this day, as adults, we are still very close. We hang out and watch movies, play video games, go biking, go shopping, normal stuff you'd do with a friend, but apparently, it's weird if you do it with a sibling. We also went on vacation together, with our aunt (who is kinda like a mom to us) and my daughter, a proper family vacation, and people acted like it was odd. I'm like, 'Yeah, I'm taking my brother on a family trip, why wouldn't I? He is family and we'll have so much fun together!' And we did. We plan on going back again together in the future. It's not like we can never be separated, far from it (we live in different towns now and have different work schedules, so we don't get to hang out as often as we used to.) We do a lot of things without the other. But he's my brother and always will be. - u/ShinyUnicornPoo

4. Relationship with ex-partners

My ex-wife and I, and our current spouses, get along. We all have to come into contact with each other at family functions, like birthday parties, graduations, holidays, and just generally anything with the kids and grandkids. It's best for the kids and grandkids if Mom and Dad or Grandpa and Grandma get along. My ex-wife and I still regularly work together when our kids or grandkids have a problem. Just recently my daughter's ex put me down as a character reference for a job that required an extensive background check for a security clearance. People told us and we both knew that it was weird to use your ex-father-in-law as a reference. He wasn't a good husband to my daughter (the fault lies with both of them), but he's a great father to my grandkids (my number one priority) and overall, he's a pretty good guy. - u/im_the_real_dad

5. Someone behaving less cheerfully with you

One I only discovered recently. When a person going through some difficult stuff is less friendly and cheerful around you than they are around other people, it can make you feel defensive. You might think it means they're upset with you, but sometimes it can mean this person feels safe expressing their more vulnerable emotions around you. It's really counterintuitive. If the person is like this all the time, that's not a green flag that's a straight-up red flag. And if they are verbally or otherwise abusive, that's also a red flag. What I described above is strictly about a person being less friendly and cheerful (not aggressive/abusive) while they are going through some difficult stuff (as opposed to all the time). - u/nerdqueenhydra

6. Overly kind people

One of my good friends at university was a friend of a friend first and when I was first introduced to her, I didn't warm to her very quickly because she was just so nice I thought she had to be fake. She was asking me questions about myself and although my answers were quite standard/mundane, she seemed to show a genuine interest in what I was saying with some excellent follow-up questions. I didn't trust that sort of engagement, her smiling and eye contact, it feel like she was so good at being nice to be around, it had to be an act. As I got to know her more, it turned out I was just broken and she was absolutely that nice of a person! She's doing well in life and I can't think of anyone else who deserves that more. - u/you-want-nodal

7. Sharing insecurities

Sharing your insecurities. If you are comfortable enough with a partner to explain what makes you tick, I'd say that flag is greener than a traffic light. - u/RogueAlt07. It depends on the insecurity and how they are working on reducing it. Some insecurities are incompatible with certain people. For example, I dated someone who had a thing for "strong women" but also a crippling insecurity that required him to feel needed. Strong women don't "need" him. That relationship was doomed from the start. - u/SaltySweetSt

8. Not having a social media

The problem is there are two types of people with no social media: normal people who just don't care for the drama and crazy conspiracy theorists who are obsessed with being off the grid. u/PheonixMason13. Reddit's kind of different, though, to be honest. It's not a 'social relationship' site like Facebook or Instagram. We're not out here showing our personal lives to each other and whatnot. It's far more anonymous. That's more or less why 'no social media' could be interpreted as a red flag; people think you're hiding things and whatnot. Conveniently, I forgot that we didn't even have social media around 20 years ago. I'm the same as you, though. The other sites are just boring. Also, incredibly shallow. Most people show only their best face on those sites, so the 'red flag' doesn't even make sense. - u/NorionV

9. Quick texting

The day after my first date with my girlfriend, I was strategically planning how and what to say in my text, asking her out again and exactly when to send it. Too early would make me look thirsty. Too late and I look indifferent. It has to be sent at an "unusual" time (for example, not on the hour/half-hour/quarter-hour). I was like, "ok, 1:37 it is. But not the second it turns 1:37. Like 20 seconds later." It was so absurd, but that's the kind of game dating had conditioned me to play. A little after 10 in the morning, she texts me, "Hey! I had a great time last night and would definitely go out again. No worries or pressure though." I was so impressed and relieved. Like wow, we could be mature and direct and not play the stupid games that make dating so frustrating. - u/acusumano

10. Having friends from the opposite gender

It angers me so much that this is viewed as a red flag. I'm a guy with a female best friend, but we've literally been lifelong friends since we were babies. Like obviously, we aren't gonna have anything romantic going on, but it always makes me sad to see online that people tend to assume one of us has repressed feelings or something. - u/Piedninny17. I came here to say this! I can't tell you how many people have told me it's weird that I don't get jealous of my husband being friends with women, but it's one of my favorite things about him. It was a huge green flag for me when we started dating that he easily befriended my group of friends, which was majority women. I love that he respects women and treats them like people. - u/clever-mermaid-mae