People share 10 major reasons they are hesitant to get into a long-term relationship

It's all about prioritizing and making wise choices.

People are cautious about getting into long-term relationships due to its sacred and profound nature. Men and women are often doubtful about committing to a partner for the long term or even getting into a relationship to keep it forever. While fear, commitment issues and being unable to connect are some of the top reasons, there are other varied yet valid reasons for the same. u/E8inches2short posted on the Reddit forum, calling on all people between ages 28-35 to voice their opinions on the possible reasons they are hesitant to get into long-term relationships. With hundreds of comments, many have pitched in with different ideas and perspectives. We have selected the top 10 reasons the young generation has shared that resonate with many people.

1. Self-love first

I need to learn to respect myself before I can respect someone I care about that much. -u/Ph0nyM0ntana I was taught you can only love/respect someone else as much as you love/respect yourself. -u/upsidedownbackwards Lack of desire to get into one. I got out of a long-term relationship a while back and it's been good to be focused on me. -u/Cyanora I literally sit in front of my desk for 15 hours a day. I'm trying to overcome my depression to get back into the gym. -u/ProbablyGayingOnYou

2. Unable to connect with someone

I have a hard enough time finding friends who want to spend time with me, less likely to find someone who wants to be with me. -u/mental_reincarnation I work a lot, so I don't have much time to offer. It feels unfair and makes it harder to form connections. -u/softcore_UFO I've never had a relationship. Can't find anyone I'm compatible with, to put it simply. -u/DisasterSugar137 I’m just not getting any spark or real chemistry from the interactions I’ve had with people. A lot of people just want to hook up and not build any kind of connection/chemistry. -u/Prudent_Target_7380

3. Past experiences and maturity 

Past mistakes and I guess maturity. I have a teenager and most people in my area are just not ready. I just recently bought a house and I work a lot. I'm ready to settle down with someone that wants the same things and everyone who has promised me that in the past was not in any way ready to grow up. So, I'm gonna finish making my life comfortable and then go from there. -u/littlegiinge_

4. Being comfortable alone 

Uninspiring prospective dating pool. I'm pretty comfortable being alone and I really haven't met anyone exciting in a while. -u/redditiscraptakeanap Even if I'm in a relationship, I wanna live alone (having my own apartment).-u/mortyMcHoi Sometimes, I truly enjoy my own company. I've been in a relationship before and it was a constant feeling of having to sacrifice or give to someone all the time. It became draining. -u/Prudent_Target_7380

5. Lack of trust and dependency

First, I'm absolutely not at a point in my life where it's fair for me to try and rope someone else into caring about my catastrophic horseshit. Second, even if I was, based on what I've both personally experienced and seen in the world, I'm not sure I could even trust a new person enough to romantically entangle myself with them. -u/qweenoftheunderworld My friendship group went from too many to count to under 5 close friends. I don't know how to make new friends or meet new people. -u/B0J0L0 

6. Taking time to figure it out 

A long-term relationship is not for everyone. Don't feel pressured to get into one. -u/joseph68 You are right about that. No one should ever feel pressured into something they don't want to be in. -u/E8inches2short Most people are looking for relationship benefits without relationship commitment but aren't upfront about it. It's a vetting process that takes time.-u/PeligrosaPistola I don't know what to look for. I'm like numb. I'm over it. Not self-conscious. Not depressed. Like, I don't know what to look for. -u/Tira13e 

7. Stereotypes and the dating pool 

I got into one earlier this year. Before that, I’d say the #1 reason was a lackluster dating pool for me, specifically. -u/PeligrosaPistola I date to marry, but it appears that not everyone thinks that way. I'm scared to be in a relationship with the wrong person since I have boring interests and I don't party or drink, so my dating pool goes down just with that. -u/Itchy_Rate

8. Insecurity

I gained 40 pounds since COVID-19 and I'm too insecure about my body to really get into talking to anyone, despite several people telling me I'm still attractive. -u/ProbablyGayingOnYou I'm a little too self-conscious about myself and I possess perfectionistic tendencies, so I'm imprudently waiting until I see myself as being worthy enough to be in a long-term relationship. I'm not exactly thriving in my career or am physically attractive, so I decided I have to work on myself and sort out my issues. -u/blissfulysober

9. Red flags 

It's normal for people to want to keep parts of their lives private when they first start dating you. When you're ten years in and your mutual child is 8, secrets are a red flag. My advice to all of you - trust your gut. If they can't tell you the truth, bounce. -u/Senior_Character_241 Almost 3 years ago, after getting cheated on (for the second time) and then laughed at as she told me I didn't make enough money, I decided I was all set. -u/Poluca

10. Lack of socializing 

My socializing recently has been going to this karaoke bar, getting absolutely plastered and then being depressed for the rest of the weekend. Wake up Monday for work and repeat the same thing on Friday. -u/B0J0L0 I don't date or interact with girls. Even though I want a girl somehow in my life, my ego of giving up my freedom supersedes my want for a partner. -u/eatingthembean3 Younger than that age bracket but with bad social skills. -u/ColumbiaWahoo