A conversation focused on 'green flags' will help you find a more compatible partner and have a nurturing and fulfilling relationship.
From social media vloggers to articles and even self-help books, all talk about spotting red flags early on in a relationship. This is an important step to avoid the rigamarole of failed dates and heartbreaks. But we also need to start talking about green flags, that is, healthy patterns and behaviors in a person.
This can help us find better partners and have nurturing and fulfilling relationships. Green flags in a person should essentially make us feel better and not worse. "They're a good sign that you're compatible with that person and can form a healthy bond," Shanita Brown, Ph.D, told SELF.
People on Reddit also started pondering over the question of green flags when a Reddit thread asked, "Girls of Reddit, what's an instant 'green flag' that you would see in a guy?" The answers that followed can help us a lot in learning to navigate our way in the world of dating and relationships.
"How he treats other people, especially other women in his life. One of the things I love about my boyfriend is how sweet he is to his mom and grandma, and how polite he is with service people." - u/StarvationCure
"I dated a guy once, and on our first date, I told him I was obsessed with owls as a kid. The next time I saw him, he brought me a cute little owl figurine that he picked up at a convenience store while on a road trip. It couldn’t have cost more than $5, but him just remembering that detail meant so much. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, but he was a pretty great guy." - u/thrwy_111822
“Consistency. Not having to wonder if he likes you or not. It feels natural and you don’t have to wait 1000 years to reply to text." - u/hippycutie
“Asking questions about the stuff that I enjoy even if he doesn’t inherently understand. My now husband did this when we started dating and does it to this day. He’ll let me ramble about chemistry or other things he doesn’t quite get just to see me smile." - u/Diene4fun
“Listening to ‘no’ from the beginning, even in the small things. Additionally, being able to talk about an issue and be respectful, considerate, and not dismissive.” - u/lexiconkiller
"Fabulous communication and following through with everything he says. Not calling all his ex’s crazy, admitting that he was the problem. These were some of the many green flags I saw when I met my now husband.” - u/evi995
“Being kind to animals. Even insects, it’s a huge green flag if I’m freaked out by a spider and he gently removes the spider and releases it outside. I may hate the bugs but anyone who is gentle, even to insects, is someone I trust.” - u/The_Rural_Banshee
“He made (makes) me feel comfortable in myself, just being.” - u/SaxAndViolince
"If he can control his emotions, voice and composure when frustrated/angry." - u/KuhLealKhaos
"On our first date my now husband and I went to a pub after dinner. By coincidence a couple of his friends were already there. He was super excited to introduce me to his friends. His friends were the best kind of people.
Both were big green flags for me." - u/Informal-Magician-29
"I thinks openness is a huge green flag. Having self-consciousness and willingness to learn and understand other things/people. Everyone can make a mistake, but how they deal with it should tell a lot." - u/breakindance edgily
"Asking about my dream date then surprising me with it. I married him." - u/Phd 147
"When words match actions." - u/agentscully222
"He did the dishes without being asked, then took out the trash." - u/do0mkitty
"When you’ve been dating for several months and things are getting stronger and going smoothly." - u/totallywarped
"Seeing them actively be an advocate for less privileged groups of people. Going beyond thoughts and prayers for humans who need it." - u/ coratrash
"Willingness to self reflect and have 'hard' conversations (money, kids, past relationships, etc). - u/sunshineinmypocket6
"Someone intelligent, that genuinely appreciated my mind, all the while keeping his eyes on me. If he can keep up, that's a keeper." - Reddit
"Not being afraid to cry or/and be vulnerable. Of course you can’t be vulnerable with everyone but you need to be it in front of your loved ones." - u/SpiderKiara
"Not being intimidated by my height. I’m 5’10. A lot of guys pretend they are fine with it but often actively discourage me from wearing heels or any shoes." - u/graylashfire
"When he can admit when he is wrong. Bonus points if he genuinely sounds interested in improving the wrong behavior by communicating and asking questions." - u/LeslieKnopeOSRS
"When he uses the sidewalk rule, or when he actively tries to engage and understand things that make you happy/are interested in no matter how small it may be." - u/No-Leg-6545
"Someone who has meaning, purpose, and ambition. He’s not living to make someone else rich, he makes himself rich and has fun with it." - u/iloveconspiring
"When he gives you an update without you telling him to do so. I feel like this action means that he really wants me to be a part of his life." - u/IWasAMistakeX
"Kisses me in public or shows interest." - u/Eurovenom503