People reveal 25 'green flags' that you should look for in a new relationship

From social media vloggers to articles and even self-help books, all talk about spotting red flags early on in a relationship. This is an important step to avoid the rigamarole of failed dates and heartbreaks. But we also need to start talking about green flags, that is, healthy patterns and behaviors in a person.

This can help us find better partners and have nurturing and fulfilling relationships. Green flags in a person should essentially make us feel better and not worse. "They're a good sign that you're compatible with that person and can form a healthy bond," Shanita Brown, Ph.D, told SELF.

People on Reddit also started pondering over the question of green flags when a Reddit thread asked, "Girls of Reddit, what's an instant 'green flag' that you would see in a guy?" The answers that followed can help us a lot in learning to navigate our way in the world of dating and relationships.

1. How does he treat others?

"How he treats other people, especially other women in his life. One of the things I love about my boyfriend is how sweet he is to his mom and grandma, and how polite he is with service people."  - u/StarvationCure

2. Remembers small details:

"I dated a guy once, and on our first date, I told him I was obsessed with owls as a kid. The next time I saw him, he brought me a cute little owl figurine that he picked up at a convenience store while on a road trip. It couldn’t have cost more than $5, but him just remembering that detail meant so much. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, but he was a pretty great guy."  - u/thrwy_111822

3. Not trying to be hard to get:

“Consistency. Not having to wonder if he likes you or not. It feels natural and you don’t have to wait 1000 years to reply to text."  - u/hippycutie

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4. Trying to really know me:

“Asking questions about the stuff that I enjoy even if he doesn’t inherently understand. My now husband did this when we started dating and does it to this day. He’ll let me ramble about chemistry or other things he doesn’t quite get just to see me smile." - u/Diene4fun

5. Is respectful of boundaries:

“Listening to ‘no’ from the beginning, even in the small things. Additionally, being able to talk about an issue and be respectful, considerate, and not dismissive.” -  u/lexiconkiller

6. Not all his exes were crazy:

"Fabulous communication and following through with everything he says. Not calling all his ex’s crazy, admitting that he was the problem. These were some of the many green flags I saw when I met my now husband.”  - u/evi995

7. Kind to animals:

“Being kind to animals. Even insects, it’s a huge green flag if I’m freaked out by a spider and he gently removes the spider and releases it outside. I may hate the bugs but anyone who is gentle, even to insects, is someone I trust.”  -  u/The_Rural_Banshee

8. His presence made me feel comfortable:

“He made (makes) me feel comfortable in myself, just being.”  - u/SaxAndViolince

9. Can control his temper:

"If he can control his emotions, voice and composure when frustrated/angry." - u/KuhLealKhaos 

10. Doesn't hesitate to introduce me to friends:

"On our first date my now husband and I went to a pub after dinner. By coincidence a couple of his friends were already there. He was super excited to introduce me to his friends. His friends were the best kind of people.
Both were big green flags for me."  - u/Informal-Magician-29

11. It's not the end of the world if I make a mistake:

"I thinks openness is a huge green flag. Having self-consciousness and willingness to learn and understand other things/people. Everyone can make a mistake, but how they deal with it should tell a lot."  - u/breakindance edgily

12. Makes me feel heard:

"Asking about my dream date then surprising me with it. I married him."  - u/Phd 147

13. Walks the talk:

"When words match actions."  - u/agentscully222

14. Can do simple chores:

"He did the dishes without being asked, then took out the trash."  - u/do0mkitty

15. Not afraid to get too close:

"When you’ve been dating for several months and things are getting stronger and going smoothly." -  u/totallywarped

16. Helps the underprivileged:

"Seeing them actively be an advocate for less privileged groups of people. Going beyond thoughts and prayers for humans who need it."  - u/ coratrash

17. Does not avoid difficult conversations:

"Willingness to self reflect and have 'hard' conversations (money, kids, past relationships, etc). - u/sunshineinmypocket6

18. Appreciates my mind:

"Someone intelligent, that genuinely appreciated my mind, all the while keeping his eyes on me. If he can keep up, that's a keeper." - Reddit  

19.  Not afraid to be vulnerable:

"Not being afraid to cry or/and be vulnerable. Of course you can’t be vulnerable with everyone but you need to be it in front of your loved ones." - u/SpiderKiara

20. Not intimidated by taller girls:

"Not being intimidated by my height. I’m 5’10. A lot of guys pretend they are fine with it but often actively discourage me from wearing heels or any shoes."  - u/graylashfire 

21. Can admit when he is wrong:

"When he can admit when he is wrong. Bonus points if he genuinely sounds interested in improving the wrong behavior by communicating and asking questions."  - u/LeslieKnopeOSRS

22. Chivalry is not dead:

"When he uses the sidewalk rule, or when he actively tries to engage and understand things that make you happy/are interested in no matter how small it may be."  - u/No-Leg-6545

23. Has a purpose and ambition:

"Someone who has meaning, purpose, and ambition. He’s not living to make someone else rich, he makes himself rich and has fun with it."  - u/iloveconspiring

24. Updates me about his life:

"When he gives you an update without you telling him to do so. I feel like this action means that he really wants me to be a part of his life."  - u/IWasAMistakeX

25. Doesn't shy away from showing affection:

"Kisses me in public or shows interest."  - u/Eurovenom503