People rally around woman whose boyfriend is asking for paternity test for their newborn

Paternity tests are sometimes requested to confirm a biological relationship with a child, but doing so without the mother's consent can cause significant emotional distress. One woman, u/Perfect_Buddy5904, found herself in this situation when her long-term boyfriend questioned the parentage of their newborn daughter. Now, the new mom is seeking advice from the Reddit community on how to handle this painful situation.

"My boyfriend wants a paternity test on our newborn daughter," the header of the post read. The woman revealed how she had her boyfriend have been in a relationship for 7.5 years and she recently gave birth to their daughter. But 3 weeks after the arrival of the newborn, the boyfriend surprisingly started asking for a paternity test to determine if the newborn was his daughter or not. "We met at work. I’m a nurse and he is a surgeon and he is very dedicated to his job," the woman elaborated on her story. "So needless to say he does work a lot. I currently am not working, so I stay home a lot and he supports us. Throughout our relationship, I have been very faithful to him."

She also mentioned that there have been hints of her boyfriend’s infidelity throughout their relationship, but she chose to forgive him and stay committed. But she decided to forgive him and hold onto their relationship. "He has told his OR staff that he asked for a paternity test, which upset me. He says they understand why I would be upset. His rationale is that he doesn’t want to raise a child that he doesn’t know if it’s his 100%. He doesn’t want to find out later on down the road that she’s not his," the post continued.

The boyfriend went on to tell the new mom that since she is home all by herself and he is hardly there, he has doubts that she might have been unfaithful. "If he wants to pay for the paternity test then I’m fine with that. But am I in the wrong for being upset by how he’s trying to rationalize it and make me feel as if I’m the unfaithful one?" the post concluded. The Reddit community mostly sided with the woman and voiced their opinions on why she shouldn't be with a man who doesn't trust her.

u/nO-AREa153 remarked, "I don’t think this will last much longer. A relationship will crumble with no trust which he’s showing he doesn’t have towards you which is even weirder because he’s cheated not you." u/AffectionateWay9955 wrote, "You’re not a wife. He cheats. You had his kid. You stopped working and he supports you. Girl. You are living in a fantasy land. That’s not your man. You are debasing yourself for money. For your dream of marrying a doctor. He’s pathetic and so are you. Pick your self-worth off the floor and leave. Go back to work. Find a man who loves you."

u/HippieGrandma1962 suggested, "This may be, unnecessarily harsh but true. He is projecting. He is a cheater so he thinks everybody cheats. Get the paternity test, OP. You will need it to get child support when you, hopefully, dump that jerk. You're not pathetic but you are in an untenable situation. Time to get your ducks in order and plan your escape. You will then be able to find a man who loves and respects you. This one does not." u/GoingMyWeight added, "This is what I came to say. OP, you're putting yourself in a really bad situation by not working and relying on your boyfriend to support you. You have none of the protections you'd get in a marriage/divorce. You are going to want to ensure you maintain your means of support in the event you split up, especially now that you are a parent. This doesn't have to be solved tomorrow because I know you're still adapting to a brand-new baby. But don't take long to confront it."